Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
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Top comments
strawberrywine22 30
Trust me, it could be wore. My son took the "rocket ship" he found to school for show and tell. My daughter used it to massage her grandmother's feet.
gonad_gobbler 1
You have smart kids! They knew vibrators and ******* go together!
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Comments (66)
Abbyybba 0
Wonder why they would hide it there.
LadyGore 12
Either you are not hidding it well enough and your kids are older or they are younger and you are not watching them properly.
Abbyybba 0
I'm sure she's a terrible mother...
Abbyybba 0
That... My friend... Was sarcasm to the bitchy comment that 15 said...
jkozzy 8
******* need their vibrators;)
mariah_victoria 0
No. Just no.
VooDooCarrie91 19
It bothers me that a 15 year old would say this
Namenlos_fml 20
Bright side: you now know where it is.
br0ccoli 15
"why is our cat using her litter box so much?"
kimg0885 23
If they r not older or younger then what r they? Great observation, they must be a girl or either a boy too!
prettyinpink03 11
Every pussy needs pleasure, no matter how furry it is.
la_gata_0716 5
:/
hqbrat 8
You: kids have you seen a massager Kids: what type ? You: we'll it long shiny and it's for my face One of your kids: *laughing* yeah * gargle noises* * all the kids start laughing* One kid: you should worry less about that and worry about are cat she's in the litter box You: *goes and checks cat*.... Then hears buzzing, Ali you bad cat Kids in backround laughing
Rowdey 10
Woah man, that was funny...
DogsPaw 16
Wtf?
SystemofaBlink41 27
Geez man my eyes died reading this...
Driveshaft 5
Well, it's still being used by a pussy!
dude1122332 9
Hey I have more plastic bags for you to blow up. I have some rope to tie the ends so no air gets out. Come on I'll help ya!(: