Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML
Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML
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Top comments
strawberrywine22 30
Trust me, it could be wore. My son took the "rocket ship" he found to school for show and tell. My daughter used it to massage her grandmother's feet.
gonad_gobbler 1
You have smart kids! They knew vibrators and ******* go together!
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Comments (66)
pipc 10
Time for boarding school...
CatieMac 0
maybe they heard mommy making her kitty purrr and decided they wanted to make their cat purr too. bahaha
rcgirl2 11
Who knows what they did to that poor cat. F the cat's life.
unknown_user5566 27
Your kids clearly don't know which pussy that toy belongs to... not their fault! ;)
Rocky007 15
Better the kids than your husband.
nvo 6
Take it out of their allowance.
marxistbkly 3
I thought vibrators were supposed to be buried in the kitty box?
KiddNYC1O 22
I read the location as ****** after reading the anecdote...
hateevryone 15
I wonder what they thought it was when they found it.
Rasetsu 10
No husband then?
zandalee 20
What the heck does that have to do with anything? Hell - I got both!!
koolkat27 13
100- Your picture is of Twilight, you're one to talk.