Animals: Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before...

By NotSpiderman - 31/10/2012 17:09 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 689

You deserved it 4 617

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Same thing different taste

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 284

You deserved it 14 258

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 316

You deserved it 7 643

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 406

You deserved it 2 444

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 456

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 014

You deserved it 5 947

Hidden

By fml9124 - 20/09/2019 14:00

Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 168

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 141

You deserved it 4 017

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 218

You deserved it 3 107

By Boyufd - 09/09/2018 03:30

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 916

You deserved it 229

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Wednesday 31 October 2012 22:14

I don't blame you. Spiders are terrifying.

AGhost5445 25

Wednesday 31 October 2012 22:17

Your dad is a brave man.

Comments

yogima 6

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:00

You go girl! Keep those kittens safe! You are braver than I am. I would've fainted already.

AH1Zviper 15

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:15

Your local gun store should be able to help with your problem.

jetsown08 21

Thursday 1 November 2012 2:09

Yeah, go about shooting your 9mm in your house looking for that damn spider. Sounds like a great idea.

BusinessTurtle 8

Thursday 1 November 2012 2:12

9mm? No, that's a horrible idea, you numbskull. In this case, I'd recommend a mini-gun, a flamethrower or a through artillery bombardment of the house.

Glidefedt 6

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:23

Thats why I like living in Denmark, no poisonous spiders, no venomous snakes, our most dangerous animal is a tick.

Chelsea_bella 20

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:33

Denmark sounds boring.

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 1 November 2012 0:06

I know right, their crime rate is the lowest! Safest place to be.

noncom 12

Thursday 1 November 2012 14:53

#62 No, Switzerland has the lowest crime rate. Liechtenstein actually does if you count it as a country instead of a principality.

Daesh_fml 9

Monday 9 February 2015 8:03

Two words, Lyme disease... that is all

Disobey_fml 13

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:24

If you tell him you will do the chores for a Month or so he'll probably help you.

furbyface711 9

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:26

Your dad should be careful. A classmate of mine is missing a chunk of his forearm because he was but by a brown recluse and it was the only way he would live.

oomph_fml 25

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:28

An exterminator definitely sounds like your safest bet. Or maybe just go insane with the fly spray so you can relax a bit for the time being.

koolaide95 1

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:38

My dog was killed by a brown recluse spider. It was really depressing.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:45

Maybe it just wants some candy and your soul. Like rbg.

skullofdarkness 18

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:45

You sure it's not hiding in your BOOT?!

KangasKid18 1

Wednesday 31 October 2012 23:50

WRONG. The Brown Recluse spider does not live in Virginia. It was probably the harmless Southeastern House Spider, which is incredibly common in Virginia.