Miscellaneous: Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my...

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 302

You deserved it 2 707

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 240

You deserved it 3 696

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 756

You deserved it 3 341

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 057

You deserved it 2 804

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 236

You deserved it 3 802

By smf_ds - 31/07/2015 20:48 - Portugal - Rebordosa

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 060

You deserved it 2 216

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 149

You deserved it 4 036

By ouharguohargssdf - 28/09/2013 21:01 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 2 896

Love is love

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 01:00

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 257

Life is a roller coaster

By Username - 02/10/2019 14:00

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 171

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 867

You deserved it 4 976

Mole116 4

Monday 9 January 2012 15:46

LOL WTF. That's... creepy... O_o

GoW_Chick 14

Monday 9 January 2012 15:50

It's all about teamwork in a healthy marriage, I bet they're a really happy couple.

Comments

smooches722 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:21

Ew, use plastic from now on

cmac86 23

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:40

Time for new silverware!

Jazzy_B34r 12

Tuesday 10 January 2012 10:26

0_o...so thats what parents get up to when your not home...

vde_fml 15

Tuesday 10 January 2012 13:09

I believe it is time for you to move out :_)

alsgirl 24

Tuesday 10 January 2012 13:10

I guess you won't be using that fork for your dinner again!

cocodecoeur 12

Tuesday 10 January 2012 14:45

Because nails are so mainstream, let's try a fork instead!

chattysoul890 18

Tuesday 10 January 2012 22:35

I doubt that friend of yours is ever going to come back

gooldbaby12 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 2:12

Better then waking up in the morning with your friend and your parents strolling around in there underwear haha!

nikkikins 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 4:36

LOL. That's great.

lovestheice 0

Wednesday 11 January 2012 6:40

Why can't be itch his own butt??

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The Top

Today, on my friend's birthday, I met a guy I really liked at a club, and he asked me to go home with him. At 2 a.m., my friend called but I missed her calls. When I woke up, she'd texted me pictures of all my things that I had at her place thrown outside in the snow. All because I didn’t go home with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 1 204

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 430

You deserved it 4 436

The Top

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 038

You deserved it 3 698

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 583

You deserved it 3 084

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 215

You deserved it 9 280

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 796

You deserved it 6 567

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 480

You deserved it 3 168

Today, I was caught trying to use the employee bathroom at the back of the store when an employee asked if I worked there. I responded with, “Oh what? Are you a hall monitor? That’s what I thought!” but ended up bumping into a corner and my nose started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 1 608

Same thing different taste

Not now, guys

Love is love

Life is a roller coaster

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