Miscellaneous: Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my... - FML

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 302

You deserved it 2 707

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Same thing different taste

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 240

You deserved it 3 696

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 756

You deserved it 3 341

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 059

You deserved it 2 804

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 238

You deserved it 3 802

By smf_ds - 31/07/2015 20:48 - Portugal - Rebordosa

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 060

You deserved it 2 216

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 150

You deserved it 4 036

By ouharguohargssdf - 28/09/2013 21:01 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 2 896

Love is love

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 01:00

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 257

Life is a roller coaster

By Username - 02/10/2019 14:00

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 171

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 868

You deserved it 4 976

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Top comments

Mole116 4

Monday 9 January 2012 15:46

LOL WTF. That's... creepy... O_o

GoW_Chick 14

Monday 9 January 2012 15:50

It's all about teamwork in a healthy marriage, I bet they're a really happy couple.

Comments

xxmusicroxxx 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 1:07

Hey *****. Put some clothes on.

imr 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 2:50

lol why didnt he just use his hand..

SRabbit 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 2:59

I doubt he's got long enough nails to get the proper itch going and clearly she didn't want her fingers tainted so they decided upon a fork.

twilightluvr101 4

Thursday 12 January 2012 4:22

Lol u shouldve been like ”this,is y we cant have nice things!”

cheerbabe3254 4

Friday 13 January 2012 4:02

I wouldn't be eating off of that fork for a while;)

cheerbabe3254 4

Friday 13 January 2012 4:05

Poor u:(( poor fork????tip:don't bring friends to your house, just stuck with their house!!!!!!!

bitchplease123ka 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 1:03

Dude that's soooo nasty but iv walked in on my parents doing worse I hope next time u stay at ur friends house or I would just laugh about it and let it be a inside joke :)

LN666 2

Tuesday 17 January 2012 19:31

just think next time u eat with a fork where its been :)

my_unicorn_gnurf 3

Wednesday 18 January 2012 15:59

Atleast you know where the fork was............

nabila21 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:08

IT ITCHES X0

Razman201 14

Tuesday 10 April 2012 14:18

And the mystery of your mum's secret Food topping is revealed XD

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The Top

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 480

You deserved it 3 719

Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 780

You deserved it 46 309

The Top

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 692

You deserved it 1 588

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 485

You deserved it 3 666

Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 2 041

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 326

You deserved it 7 347

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 496

You deserved it 2 070

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated… I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 231

You deserved it 8 497