Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
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Top comments
LolaD18 1
You should go take a dump in his cardboard box, show him who's boss.
Mirorbo 27
And... what exactly is keeping you from calling the cops, darling?
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Comments (90)
anonymousempress 0
ohh goshhh so not kool
bruslywrestler 0
Trespassers will be shot, within your legal rights ydi for not knowing the law or just being a panzie
SlickRoach 0
I don't know about you but I'd think about cleaning this guy up, finding a way to make his sane again (if possible) and making him your own certified butler...it could happen.
laney1809 0
was he cute?? and they make this cool thing called a phone and this other cool thing called the police. put 2 good things together...unless he was like scrubbing his back with your phone
killaninjah 1
coolest hobo ever
ethang1996 0
I just laughed out loud!
HEYpumpkin83 0
and ur door wasnt locked becuase.....???
iluvmusic8128 0
lshmsfoaidmt
ronniejacobs 6
That's why the police were invented
newburton13 26
That reminds me. When I get an apartment, it's always a good idea to keep a bat around.