By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 671
You deserved it 3 918

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Top comments

garrettcodd 0

the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...


deprived13 3

that sucks

Well offer him some toilet paper

Veraymix 6

Asking him to clean it up, I suppose is the nice way of reacting.

rallets 22

he was shitting "relentlessly"? more like f HIS life, goddamn

aubrey1 0

that's going to be a lot of fun to pick up(:

how do you relentlessly shit...?

flockz 19

was he watching nascar too?

MissBunnyWillEat 11

rallets shits relentlessly from his mouth.

Get a squirt gun and start spraying him away with it?..

69 I was thinking more like the garden hose but I'm sure everyone keeps a squirt gun handy ;)

rallets 22

human centipede style >:D

Why exactly do FMLs about waking up to homeless people shitting on something keep getting published..? its getting old..

after you join him you guys should get togheter and have a threesome with another homeless person.

Relentlessly...The Marathon Shitter? Yup, definitely The Marathon Shitter >:)

ugh...pull a Chris Tucker, ask for his name, run out in the streets and announce to everyone that he's taking a shit and promise that you won't tell anyone else. Well now that I think about it I'm not sure he'd care.

Friday ftw, but it wasn't Chris Tucker that said it. it was another guy, can't think of his name :(.

Bekeliyr 10

#18 ahaha. shit happens man!

I'd hunt his ass down. with a bag full of shit, at the ready.

what does Op mean ?

MissBunnyWillEat 11

ogre penis

113:Overweight Pedestrians- the #1 cause of car body damage while driving.

they have to do it somewhere too. I mean you have a toilet, he doesn't so cut the guy some slack. haha

thePr3da1i3nrulz 4

original poster.

btstig 11

ya boys name was Ezell. he was a crack head.

I would go out there a throw a roll of toilet paper at him and kick him off the deck.

lie down underneath his ass and try to catch some in your mouth then try to figure out what his last meal was

Yeah, Ezell. That's it :)

what a hero.

108 mike epps?

that's just a really funny sight in my head. ^.^

Well, I think it's time for you to get a pooper scooper; that is if he decides to come back. If you don't want him, I'd suggest you don't feed him or pat him; they tend to like that.

kitkatmiaow 21

#45................. Thank you... Just what I was going to ask! =^..^=

I think someone is practicing their vocabulary words.

well at least he wasn't having a shit hemorrhage on your front porch! :P

Brandon_ryan 0

I like this description best

that's disgusting..

your a jerk maybe it's not his fault he's homeless

notsocrazee 0

wether or not it was his fault does not change the fact that HE'S SHITTING ON HER PORCH.

Right... is it also maybe not his fault that he's shitting on OP's porch? He was referring the shitting on the porch being the disgusting part, not the fact that the man was homeless.

at least he isn't burning it

OhSoBueno 0

Show me your genitals....your genitals....

your genitalia!

Next thing you know, the hobo invites his friends and starts filming dirtiest porno. First off, they proceed to take shits. Secondly, the take the shit and rub it all over their chests. Not interested? Join the fun!

omg that stinks literely

lebronesque73091 12

Rub his face in it.

CloudStrife97 9

You should go take a shit on his house!

tgmarie 1


zuzupetalsYO 11

relentlessly lol, I'm going to use this word all day for two weeks!

sounds like a shitty situation to me

that's punny. lol jk both of these jokes are getting old.

KiddNYC1O 20

As dead as Soviet Russia.

I believe that we are all entitled to use this joke at least once... But that's just me...

I was waiting for this joke to surface and show us its shitty face.

I'm sick of this shit.

candycane101 0

your so creative..

119 thats the coolest facial expression ever

Well that is an unfortunate turn of events. oh well.

ifailplzinsultme 0

Relentlessly? Was he like yelling "Get out of there!" Is that what you mean?

thePr3da1i3nrulz 4

I think OP ment that a lot was coming out...

garrettcodd 0

the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...

you sir, win by a large and unmeasurable amount. that honestly made my day.

the world is his porch

Go shit on his Porsche instead.

SunDropGirl 0

ya because every homeless guy owns a Porsche right?

what kind of homeless guy wit a porsche shits on someones porch

the best kind.

pancakeboss 0

hehe win [:^{()

btstig 11

Go find his shopping cart and shit in that bitch!!

or, or orrr, op could have wiped it off and used it as lube for when zombies takeover because the lube factories will stop..

wtf is wrong with you

20- What are you, a seal?

btstig 11

WTF a seal??????

did he at least wipe?