Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
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Top comments
LolaD18 1
You should go take a dump in his cardboard box, show him who's boss.
Mirorbo 27
And... what exactly is keeping you from calling the cops, darling?
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Comments (90)
mean_monster654 1
i'd shoot him
underdose 9
OMG GET OUT A butchers knife, plastic gloves, a sharpie, a plastic ruler and needle if you have one and tell him that he are now your property and will be used for your home experiments on human animal splicing !!!!!!!!
Darcon 8
Tell him you are a homeless people rapist. Lol
CaityCatastrophy 0
This reminds me of skins.
Honda288 2
So call the police and have him either arrested or thrown out. Problem solved.
xgetxbentx 13
so leave and go call the cops? duh...
coltsluvr123 2
lol officially my favorite fml
MrChocolateburri 0
I'd **** his shit up.
Zeannathess 0
1. should have locked up. 2. that's a home invasion; he knows it's not his house, he won't leave= home invasion= felony. 3. instead of posting this, you should have been talking to the nice police officer who would come remove the man. dummy....
stoptrying 9
Yeah. Because obviously the OP couldn't have come and posted this -after- the homeless man was arrested, right?
risewith 0
that's what guns are for