Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Irony failure
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Can't stop, won't stop
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
About to Popov
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Hormonal hell
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Family values
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (862)
robyn1206 0
wow, whats sad is that your daughter cares
robyn1206 0
you dont even have enough respect for your daughter not to do what she asks? shes 7 yet she knows you have a problem. you need to get some help
isantorin 0
#12, he deserves it because he's ignoring that his daughter is asking him to do something that is not only good for her, but for the poster as well. He's a father. He should act as such. Honestly OP, stop drinking. If even a seven year old can see you have a problem, you have one. You think she did this on the spur of the moment? She probably was thinking about it for a long time. : | #173, you choose to drink enough to become alcoholic. Alcohol does not force you to take the first drink.
arques 0
If you really love your daughter then you should get some help and stop drinking.
caught22 0
ugh... here's a wild thought. ever consider you might be an alcoholic? that's not an FML that's a YOU NEED HELP
elephant3 0
Being the daughter of an alcoholic parent, please take time for some deep reflection on the intense hurt that you are causing your daughter. Admit you have a serious problem. Stop drinking. It really is your choice: the drink, or your daughter. Everyday, I wish my father had chosen me. Choose your daughter, before you loose the chance to choose at all. The buzz might last a few hours, but the pain lasts a lifetime. A lifetime.
shehzeenahmed 0
i think thats touching that she cares enough and is smart enough to do something like that for you. dont you think that if its bothering her enough to do something like that, that it might be a serious problem? do her and yourself a favor and stop drinking.
xroflmaoxd 0
Wow, you got owned.
spikah 0
Sounds like your drinking is effecting your life (and your daughters.) Try AA is all else has failed - it really did wonders in my life, just get through the shame and embarrassment, check out a meeting - you'll know after one if it's for you or not for you. You'll never know if you don't try. Sounds like you have a lot to lose - seeing how she is only 7 years old and already acting like an adult (worrying about you're health shouldn't be in the mindset of a 7 year old.)
fcuk_fml 0
when your SEVEN YEAR OLD daughter can see through your bullshit, you know you have a problem. please get your life back on track and seek help.