Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
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Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
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Comments (862)
bitca 0
For those of you saying the daughter was probably just brainwashed, I don't think they really drill the alcohol thing in until at least sixth grade, maybe middle school. Anyway, his post reeks of him having a serious problem. I think any parent, even one that drinks in moderation, would hesitate if seeing that kind of note attached to their beer. If I was just going to have a glass of wine with dinner and my child was practically begging me not to, I'd set the alcohol aside to have a discussion with him/her to get their thoughts and see if what I was doing was inadvertently affecting them.
BalsaTouching 0
Even the internet is telling you to seek help. For the sake of your kid, who sounds like a total sweetheart, do it, and be the person she thinks you are.
siang 0
You should listen to your kid, she cares and she's really sweet.
fmyfinglife_fml 0
this might be the saddest thing I've ever heard.
djbon2112 0
When your kid is worried, perhaps you should take that seriously? Quit the drinkin'.
starcheckered 0
something no one else realized, the dude might not have a problem with alcohol. she is 7 years old if she saw him binge drink or throw a party and get too drunk before she might think he has a problem when he doesn't, making this a FML because his daughter thinks he's an alcoholic and he's not.
starshine3987 0
You're lucky to have a daughter who cares so much about you. You're life isn't ******, it is blessed. Now life that life to the fullest by being the best dad you can be. A few drinks is ok in moderation but if you're doing it enough to where your 7 year old notices I'm guessing it's not just at the bar with friends on Saturday night.
itsshayan 0
your 7 year old daughter knows what beer is and looks like? wtf hahahah
sunny_fml 0
oh gosh. bring it down a notch if your 7 year old daughter is noticing. she's 7 for crying out loud.
isantorin 0
what #225 said.