Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Irony failure
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Can't stop, won't stop
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
About to Popov
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Hormonal hell
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Family values
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
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Comments (862)
Amkii 0
Clever girl. (Btw, stop drinking so much if you want to save your life and your daughter's.)
deja54 0
lol A 7-year-old doesn't know what an unhealthy amount of alcohol is. This is just cute. It's not a sign of anything. God dammit, you people.
MCart_fml 0
Smart girl, start smoking weed instead, it's actually much healthier than alcohol.
xheyqtx 0
get off your disgusting ass and take care of your child instead of having her take care of you.
tigergirl72 0
I love your daughter, you should listen to her.
why_me777 0
i hardly see how this is your fml moment. shes seven, yet she already doesnt trust you about stuff like that. you must have a drinking problem, or something if she worries about you in such ways. this is how it should be: Today, my dad drank again, even though i asked him if he wouldnt because it worries me, he ignored me, and went into the fridge anyways. FML that may sound harsh, but very true. she deserves the fml. your fault for this one.
Zwink 0
you asshole you would ignore that your daughter cares about your health like that
kandy_fml 0
I'm gonna say this is more than just a "one glass of wine at dinner every night" kinda thing. If he felt the need to post this on fmylife.com he obviously realizes that his daughter knows about his drinking problem. To the OP, Seven year old's shouldn't have to worry about things like that. If she recognized that you drink too much, then you need to stop being so damn selfish and get help
ELFENMAGICLOLZ 0
OK people need to stop being assholes and blaming the poster. Alcoholism is a disease and the desire for an alcoholic to drink is a compulsion, NOT a choice. Seeing how a lot of you have had experience with alcoholism I'm surprised you haven't read any ******* books on it. To the poster: Kids are smart and have a harder time ignoring our problems than teenagers or adults do and they recognize the signs of alcoholism. Yours also happens to be brave and caring enough to tell you she's worried. Don't let her down. Go to AA and see a counselor if you can afford it.
patricia24 0
do it for your daughter. she's only 7 and shes smarter than you.