Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
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Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
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Comments (862)
circayouandme 0
What a sweet kid. And she's sharp too. Be lucky to have her, so if she's worrying about you drinking, then it may be a problem! Then, it's more likely a FHL than a FYL.
saggy13 0
You're an asshole man Get a life
sajeta 0
grow up. you're daughter is your responsibility; deal with it.
BSalawalatski 0
Almost exactly the same as #16, just my dad instead of my mom. If a 7-year-old realizes you have a drinking problem, you have an EXTREMELY SERIOUS drinking problem and you need to get help RIGHT NOW. If you don't, you will almost certainly ruin her life.
BlondePsycho 43
I really hope your kid is just brainwashed from school and your not really an alcoholic. Having a glass of wine at night does not mean you "have a problem"
renthead 0
you should be ashamed of yourself. a 7 year old knows better than you.
aerosparrow 0
I dunno, I could totally see the daughter getting brainwashed by MADD and all these anti-drinking/fun/personal responsibility groups out there. I mean, if you're polishing a fifth off every night, thats definitely a problem; if its 3 or 4 beers, there's really no need to worry. People shouldn't rush to conclusions and conclude that OP has a problem just cause a 7 year old thought so. Do you remember how many things you were wrong about when you were 7?
beardsnbicycles7 0
Stop drinking.
frozenX207 0
your daughter is smarter than you are. stop drinking.
000001 0
Ah, smart kid! Listen to her. And stop being selfish.