Money: Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed... - FML

30/04/2014 22:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 652

You deserved it 4 215

Our house, in the middle of our street

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Batman

24/04/2012 01:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 485

You deserved it 36 358

25/10/2013 23:20 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 762

You deserved it 3 729

23/08/2013 17:13 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I realized the only reason I was invited to go on vacation with my extended family was so I could babysit everyone's children while the adults go out and have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 240

You deserved it 3 122

15/11/2013 07:05 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 045

You deserved it 7 011

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Spicy

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 1 479

24/01/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 630

You deserved it 37 592

28/09/2010 11:37 - Netherlands

Today, I hurt my jaw after I got hit by a car. While receiving medical attention, the paramedic accidentally punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 116

You deserved it 2 937

03/03/2013 03:38 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 122

You deserved it 78 763

23/12/2009 10:24 - United States

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 437

You deserved it 4 738

11/04/2012 19:53 - United States - Hollywood

Spicy

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 005

You deserved it 38 696

01/08/2010 02:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 431

You deserved it 3 471

17/04/2013 16:13 - United States - Gillham

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 331

You deserved it 8 749

21/04/2017 02:00

Today, I was in class rubbing my hands together. The lecturer thought that because my hands were up, I had a question. I replied with, "Oh, no I was just playing with myself." Just as it left my mouth, I realised what I was saying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 430

You deserved it 1 238

Do as I say…

By Anonymous - 25/08/2020 02:08 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my mother woke up again in a bad mood due to the quarantine and went off on how us siblings complain about each other all the time. Truth is, she's the one complaining non stop about whichever sibling is not in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 106

25/12/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 228

You deserved it 53 672

18/03/2011 16:14 - Netherlands

Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 647

You deserved it 71 529

03/05/2019 23:00 - United Kingdom - Consett

Today, my landlord increase my rent because of the "increased value of the flat". Why has the value increased? Because I decorated and replaced the broken fixtures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 349

You deserved it 159

Card problem

By BureaucraticLimbo - 01/01/2020 14:00

Today, I was told I can't renew my Identity Card without a Social Security Card, and I can't get a replacement Social Security Card without an Identity Card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 334

You deserved it 500

22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 635

You deserved it 12 464

07/12/2018 15:30

Today, my coworker spilled sticky fruit glaze all over my cake display cake and left it overnight uncleaned. The same display case I spent 2 hours cleaning the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 492

You deserved it 148

01/11/2010 19:39 - United States

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 154

You deserved it 3 609

23/01/2011 00:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 412

You deserved it 14 695

01/08/2019 12:00

Today, as always, my mother hates my life choices. Particularly my hair for some reason. As she's always whinging about it being dyed blonde, I dyed it back to my natural colour again to appease her, and stop the constant bullying. She hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 181

03/04/2012 16:37 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 302

You deserved it 29 844

01/05/2013 06:40 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 327

You deserved it 7 461

17/10/2018 08:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, my employer gave me a gift to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my hire date. It would have been a really nice gesture if they weren't laying me off at the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 794

You deserved it 134

Freak

By micahmatt - 26/08/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 309

You deserved it 5 032

08/08/2011 19:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year-old man's junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 422

You deserved it 6 556

13/06/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 829

You deserved it 78 096

01/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 905

You deserved it 33 561

04/04/2017 07:00 - Canada - Langley

Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 959

You deserved it 364

28/06/2012 12:08 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 086

You deserved it 2 782

08/10/2017 16:00

Today, I was working in bed when my boyfriend stumbled in, drunk as hell. He got on top of me saying he wanted sex. After a moment, he paused and said, “Sorry, I thought you were Stephen.” I’m a girl. Stephen is my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 392

You deserved it 323

13/01/2015 08:28 - Australia - Hampton

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 2 433

14/03/2011 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by way of making me an account on an online dating site. He then emailed me the account information and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 170

You deserved it 3 440

13/10/2009 11:07 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 401

You deserved it 2 949

30/06/2016 13:23 - Bangladesh

Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 019

You deserved it 1 122

09/10/2013 05:21 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 810

You deserved it 5 481

24/08/2017 14:00 - Australia

Today, my husband was 45 minutes late to our wedding reception. Later, when I asked him why, he said, "I was playing Legend of Zelda and had to finish my quest." He thinks this is an eligible excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 942

You deserved it 943

01/08/2009 21:37

Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 924

You deserved it 23 258

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Top comments

tzemmy 25

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:21

at least you were thoughtful enough to give him something in the first place! he should have been thankful.

Capt_Obvious 11

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:23

Good thing he was 'extremely' well fed, if he was skinnier he may have caught you.

Comments

tzemmy 25

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:21

at least you were thoughtful enough to give him something in the first place! he should have been thankful.

michaelaranda 28

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:26

Clearly, some musicians demand a higher rate.

incoherentrmblr 21

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:49

That money was just to buy cigarettes/alcohol anyway...

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Thursday 1 May 2014 6:40

Ya see this is why I'd rather give my spare change to the homeless they need it more technically

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Thursday 1 May 2014 6:56

he sounds like a nut case

ineedagooduser 12

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Thursday 1 May 2014 9:11

This FML is one example of why I never give money to anybody I see on the streets, and plus they probably would just spend it on cigs or alcohol like #17 said

xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18

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Thursday 1 May 2014 9:44

You realise not all street musicians are drug fucked losers who drink like a camel and smoke 2 packs a day right? I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, and I still occasionally busk when I have some free time between my professional bands, and most buskers out there aren't like that either. This guys reaction was uncalled for though, most of them I've seen, including me, actually stop the song momentarily to say thank you or weave it into the song, no matter hoe small the amount. Many of us just do it for the sheer fun of playing music and performing it, and are just as happy if we get no change as we are on a day when we get a sizeable amount of money. It's all down to his personal behaviour

laden_swallow09 34

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Thursday 1 May 2014 12:54

1- Yeah, should be thankful for the exercise, too.

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Friday 2 May 2014 18:00

#28 I don't give money out anymore either what I usually do is buy them food, usually fruit and water, they seem to appreciate it though

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:21

It's all about them dollar bills

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Thursday 1 May 2014 6:19

More like 'Pound Bills' seeing that OP is from England.

incoherentrmblr 21

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Thursday 1 May 2014 7:29

Band on the run...

Capt_Obvious 11

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:23

Good thing he was 'extremely' well fed, if he was skinnier he may have caught you.

shaww 28

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:23

You should've taken your change back if he didn't want it

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:25

Well now you know why he's asking for money as a street musician.

L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:25

Wow, that guy needs to learn the phase "beggars can't be choosy"

L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:30

*Phrase

sjbartholome 14

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Thursday 1 May 2014 14:16

"beggars can't be choosers"

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Friday 2 May 2014 18:42

I like the phase

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:25

Thank you for supporting a musician...even if they are psycho.

PaigeLeeAnn11 23

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:31

He should have been grateful to get anything at all.

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:31

Eccentricities are common for talented, knowledgeable musicians, and so is destitution; I'm reserving judgment of the guy. Besides, you got a funny story for an apparently cheap price.

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Thursday 1 May 2014 5:32

He's so ungrateful. Sorry OP.

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 19

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 441