By i suck, this i know :( - 26/07/2013 22:11 - Malawi - Blantyre
Add a comment - Reply to : #
OP, I can't even fathom why you'd think your dad would feel badly for you, or even this site. You could have broken up with your girlfriend before pursuing the gal but you didn't. It seems all fun and thrilling to you, being with 2 girls, but in the end, you end up alone with no one to hear you whine about it. Your dad probably doesn't disown you. He's just disappointed in you. Speaking of advice, ask for it before you do something stupid, such as you just did.
I agree with 101, and Op probably expected a bit of sympathy from his dad somehow through a guys point of view. You've now seen your dads perspective on this and by your name, you probably even see the shittiness in your actions. Many people may argue for Ops sake, but if people can find any excuse for Ops case in leading two people on, people shouldn't be surprised why people cheat a lot nowadays.
The guy clearly saw the shittiness of his actions, because he was feeling bad about it and was probably looking for advice on how to make it right, or as close to as it as anything could be made. The dad shouldn't have pitied him, but telling someone to kill themselves is never acceptable, especially not to someone who came to you for help. OP clearly didn't make the best decisions but he felt bad about it and, I think at least, was trying to fix his moral failings.
He never said he was cheating on her, at least physically. All he said was he was seeing another girl. That could mean they meet up at a mall or just hang out in general. I don't see a problem with that. OP may have developed feelings for her while staying committed to his girlfriend. It's not his fault, sometimes shit happens like that. It's up to him now to choose what he wants, he just needed a little support, which he didn't end up getting.
Cheating is wrong, but no one should kill themselves. Before quickly assuming he's a cheater, who knows what the relationship is like with his girlfriend. I've been in an abusive relationship, I didn't cheat physically but I had a guy there telling me to stay strong and comfort me and eventually I got the balls to end it. He already feels bad obviously, and now you all assume he's an asshole. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He went to some one important to him to ask what should he do and was told to die or get out. Honestly, I'm very sorry OP. Be honest with both girls, and if that means staying away from the second one to see how you really feel about the first, do it. Or vise versa; break it off and explore a new love.
Even if he's not physically cheating he's still lying to his girlfriend about how he feels about her and probably sneaking around with the other girl! No one deserves a relationship like that and it can be just as bad as doing something physical - an emotional relationship is also a serious matter
I know cheating is wrong and I've never cheated, but how old is the OP? If he's in high school or depending how he was raised early college, he doesn't know himself yet, let alone who or what he wants out of another person. OP tough love isn't always a bad thing but your father could have been less of a prick and given you some form of advise.
58, it is strongly implied he is cheating on his girlfriend. If he was just developing feelings for another woman, he would have asked for his dad's advice about being in said situation. He didn't ask that, however. He admitted he's cheating by what he wrote in his FML; "I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month." People use the word "seeing" for dating. How is this not cheating? Also, I believe his dad told his son to kill himself because his dad, before, did what his son is doing and he ended up alone or his dad thought he had raised his son better than that. His dad probably just said it for the two reaons I listed but he didn't mean them.
73, if the relationship is bad and he is seeing another girl, it is still considered cheating. If he doesn't like the relationship then he has to brake up with her before seeing another girl cause in no way is it fair to any of the girls. Also for all of you "smart" people we all know what he means by "seeing another girl" don't be stupid and say we assume stuff.
Cheating doesn't only imply physical love. Emotional cheating can be as big of a deal If not bigger because it's not even a temporary lapse in judgement or a bad decision. It's genuine feeling that is overshadowing that which should only be felt with your significant other. You're giving your attention and love to someone OTHER than your lover. Both are unforgivable.
Regardless of if he was cheating, cheating emotionally, or whatever option has been thrown out, OP did something terribly wrong. How do we know? He felt bad about it. Usually if you feel bad about seeing another woman while dating somebody, you're probably doing something wrong. We don't need to speculate any further to justify crucifying him. (And no, it doesn't work the other way around, you can feel fine about something bad, but that doesn't make it right.)
Seeing someone definitely does not always mean you're dating someone. Most of the time if you're "seeing" someone it's to get to know that person, before you start a relationship. Unless you do the whole middle school, "wanna go out with me?" approach, which you end up with someone you hardly know. Most of you are too quick to pull the trigger saying he's dating the other girl, we don't know that. As I said before they may just be hanging out and he became attached to her. If he's young, he has his whole life to realize what he's doing is wrong, you all can say you were angels in every single relationship you've had and judge OP for his wrongdoings, but they're his to do wrong. You learn from your mistakes, and I'd expect OP to do that with this one.
126, if you'd like to act like you know what you're talking about please learn to spell first. Did you not read my comment thoroughly? Reread that last bit. And the first. I said it is wrong. But he shouldn't be getting all this shame from strangers who only know a tid bit about OP's situation. In any case, his father shouldn't tell him to die. He just needs to be honest and open to both women, they deserve that and so does he. It should be civil and mature, not some big shame game to end in his death.
#135 I get what you're saying, but there's a difference between realizing you have feelings for someone else, acknowledging that those feelings are getting in the way of your current relationship, and ending the relationship, and having feelings for someone else but continuing your previous relationship despite that. It's not fair to have someone believe that you love them and only them and think they are in a good relationship, while you would rather be with somebody else.
Nobody knows OP. you can't help who you fall in love with, and if OP has fallen in love with someone else and they think that the relationship with the second girl would be more enjoyable then he has every right to have that happiness. He should have told his girlfriend about it though, and he is showing a lot of remorse for not being honest with her. He went to his father for advice as he is clearly struggling with this situation, as most people would. His dad was a dick for telling his own son to commit suicide, and he should have been more understanding and helpful. Seriously, you all need to stop being self righteous judgemental bastards who stereotype people by gender. Nobody is perfect.
Showing remorse isn't justification for lying to someone who is truly committed to you. I think OPs actions could be excused if it hadn't been going on for a whole month - that's quite a long time for someone to think about and reevaluate both relationships. Also, no one is stereotyping by gender... If a girl did that I'm pretty sure everyone would be calling her a slut
Forget him and choose one girl or the other don't try dating both because that will never work out.
@134 As a Muslim, this common misconception really irritates me but I'm not mad at you since it really isn't your fault. True, Islam allows polygamy. But (here is the part where you listen, or read, up) it is only permitted it the husband can treat both wives equally and they are okay with it. This being said, it is practically impossible for someone to treat both spouses equally, no matter who you are, you get jealous. Well, at least this is what the sect of Islam I follow states, it could differ with each. I can assure you that, whatever sect it is, they don't endorse it fully and would prefer for it not to happen. My rant is over now.
exactly. Also back in the day of Muhammad (pbuh) he married multiple women because those women would either get disrespected and treated unfairly due to being windows for example. He accepted them for them, regardless of any 'baggage'. Thus married them and gave them a good life - with love and respect.
That's not quite true. The basic Mormonism most people know does not allow that. They quit allowing that back in 1890. However, there is a branch off of Mormonism that continued the act of polygamy, and they call themselves the FLDS. They believe the LDS branch of Mormonism to be a complete farce, and are not allowed to have any contact with them whatsoever.
You wouldn't have this problem if you hadn't cheated in the first. F your girlfriend's life for being led on by a cheating bastard.
If 'emotional cheating' is a thing, then it can't be helped. Have any of you ever 'decided' to develop feelings for someone else? No. If OP has developed feelings for someone else then it's not really his fault, as you can't help who you fall in love with. If they think they like the other girl more then nobody has any right to stop them from having a relationship, as long as he is honest with his girlfriend and breaks up with her. May sound awful, but that's an unfortunate part of life. Physically cheating is horrible, but to me it doesn't sound like he is doing this. It just sounds like he is talking to her, which is much more innocent than having sex with her behind someone's back. Even if he is cheating on her, his dad shouldn't tell him to commit suicide. As a father he should support him and help him fix the situation he caused, however bad it may be.
Exactly. Duh! The only logical thing to do would be to kill yourself. Now why would I say something horrible like that? Well that way you get to continue to be the chicken shit arsehole that you are and not face either one of the women you're hurting. Definitely F their lives not yours.
So obviously I really didn't mean that he should kill himself. You people really need to lighten up. It was a joke, a play off the fathers words. Anyways, definitely not cool OP to be seeing 2 women without them knowing about it. If that's what you want, then talk to them about it and let them know so that they at least have a choice whether they want to be with you or not.
So I'm single and you have two girlfriends? You're getting no sympathy here.
160 ohhh wow what a piece of work you are. You do realize you're a self-proclaimed "nice guy", but you're not actually nice, right? "I'm single and alone boo hoo it's all the woman's fault cuz them females are all cold-hearted". How about you learn to be happy by yourself, better yourself as a person, learn to respect other people, and then maybe you'll be mature enough for a relationship.