eBay to the rescue!

And don't worry about your landlord or security deposit while you're at it. And any common sense you may have, just throw that out the window too.
So stupid.

Hey whats up

Do u have a balcony...

When people question the bruised knees, tell them one of your resolutions was to 'please' more people.

Wear a helmet.

Dig a hole

Break the ceiling

I am fat and I'm digging a hole, diggy diggy hole.

Anyone?

107 - I have no idea what your talking about, dude.

Keep your head down?

That's okay, you probably would've given up on your new years resolution soon anyways!

Well at least he actually meant his new years resolution unlike that other guy

You just need to bend over when you use it. Please send me video of you putting my sage advice to use;)

Man, if she falls for that and sends me a video of herself working out naked, I'm sending it to you and I'll buy you a beer for being a great wingman!

Duck.

Goose!

Aw man I suck at this game.

It's ok, it's not for everyone I guess.

Definitely not :'-(

Hen! :)

Co-ROOSTER!

Dead cow!

Am I winning? :o

Taco... Nothing bwats tacos. YES it counts. Some people eat duck... Bleh. x3

Awww! Go for a nice jog outside, smell the fresh air possibly see some wildlife.

how low are ur ceilings or how tall in the machine? I don't see why you can't return it, its not like its underwear, most companies have a buyers remorse period

Elliptical machine: $450

Your daily food consumption: $500

Monthly budget for broken chairs your fat ass has to replace: $1000

The look on your face when you realize buying a tape measure and reading the dimensions would have saved you $450: Priceless

^no.

$500 daily? $1,000 for chairs? What are you, eight years old?

Maybe they're really expensive chairs...

I remember those commercials! Apparently, no one else does ._.

56 - we remember the commercial. his comment just sucked.

56 Also, it doesn't follow the theme of those commercials. It wasn't just 1 main cost followed by a few vaguely related points that don't tie in to the punchline, usually the final comment wrapped up all the key points.

Exactly. My wife left me for having irrelevant and depressing punchlines

The holocaust

Weird. Your wife left me for being an over-opinionated asshole who always has to make condescending cynical remarks. Maybe shes just a bitch with unrealistic expectations of people.

Crawl on it :p haha