Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I bought a treadmill as part of my goal to get fit for summer. It doesn't look like it's going to get much use, seeing as how I sprained my ankle trying to get it in my doorway. FML
Today, I went to sit on a desk chair, which promptly rolled out from under me. This made me fall on my own foot, literally shattering two bones. I just bought a 9-month gym membership and can't use it because I wanted to sit down. FML
Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML
Today, I bought a flatpack, easy to assemble cot-bed for my baby. I spent 5 hours building it, but when it was done, I realised I couldn't reach into it because I'm 5ft and my arms can't reach and lift the baby. I'd have to throw him in. I'm suffering from back spasms as a result, and I now need to disassemble and return it. FML
Today, I finally got a Wii Fit to try and lose some weight. I came home and set it all up, only to be told that I weigh too much to actually use it. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML
Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML
Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML
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Top comments
GoW_Chick 14
eBay to the rescue!
mwrc8man94 1
Wear a helmet.
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Comments (81)
ImInYourFACEbook 8
This is definitely the best excuse to not exercise that I have heard so far!
WCARlover 34
Then it technically wouldn't be considered running would it? Lol
astrasoul7 1
sell it on ebay or craigslist
astralvagan 20
Craigslist or eBay are your friends.....
Nanner789 0
Figure something out. IMAGINATION.
marpay 11
Try talking to the actual manufacture. Sometimes they will return the machine when a store won't.
hellbilly205 17
Instead of Ebay you could always put it on craigslist, or have a sign outside your house, my parents said thats how people use to do things before the internet.
ICATiger 13
Shuffle on it!!! :D
harbqll 0
I guess you hadn't heard of this new invention out there, called a tape measure. YDI
OfficeNinja 5
Double your exercise! Now you can duck with every step! Think of the positive aspect.
Livencountry 5
Is that how ninjas stay fit?
OfficeNinja 5
No. The true ninja needs no gimmicks or machines. I get all my exercise by dodging responsibility, pushing my luck, and hiding from work. This means I have to spider walk up a lot of walls on any given day - the best shadows in an office are often ceiling corners near the break room. Plus my job, when I am doing it, involves a whole lot of walking. Lots and lots of walking. I can be anywhere in the building, at any time, for any reason. I intentionally avoid escalators and elevators whenever possible.