Love: Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words...

By Anonymous - 02/11/2015 19:05 - United States - Rogers

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 039

You deserved it 4 211

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 054

You deserved it 5 088

By apparentlybutch - 05/09/2014 21:11 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 204

You deserved it 4 568

By Anonymous - 09/05/2013 07:01 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 855

You deserved it 4 321

No thanks

By Anonymous - 26/02/2020 20:00

Today, I asked the guy I like if he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He replied that he doesn't like their food. I think that's a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 323

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 716

You deserved it 6 794

Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 360

By moo... - 18/05/2013 02:59

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 490

You deserved it 13 203

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 14:54 - France

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 708

You deserved it 4 944

Rare and inventive insult

By fuck you - 26/04/2015 08:19 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 242

You deserved it 3 734

Charming dude

By Hurt as hell - 29/11/2023 07:30

Today, I saw the guy I have a crush on kissing a blonde chick. He'd turned me down because he “wasn’t into blondes”. I’m a blonde myself. When I confronted him about it, he told me, “Oh, I should have been more specific. I’m not into blondes who have a face like Sid the Sloth and a body like Shamu.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 746

olpally 32

Monday 2 November 2015 22:31

Slap him for being rude. Geeze, that's cold.

okokalright 15

Monday 2 November 2015 22:32

You will find someone eventually. Unfortunately, people can be ******* assholes that are probably insecure themselves.

Comments

limegreenpoopie 31

Tuesday 3 November 2015 15:07

What a shallow douchebag.

Raquel00 5

Tuesday 3 November 2015 15:09

I'm very sorry OP. No one, big or small, should be made fun of

shinikageWolf 15

Tuesday 3 November 2015 15:13

Tell him you were joking, you'd never go out with a guy who's 1) an asshole and 2) has a micro penis.

jonomc 12

Tuesday 3 November 2015 16:58

Or maybe take care of your long term health and go on a diet and exercise? This is making the assumption that you are overweight. If I am wrong I apologise. But people saying it's ok to be unhealthy are not your friends they just want to see you die young and have many health complications on the way. How that is being supportive I don't know.