Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 120
You deserved it 336

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Should have told her whales aren't known to be cannibalistic.

You're lying. A sperm whale or killer whale has the ability to eat her. It's more likely that a shark or Portuguese Man-O-War will kill her. That should calm her down.

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Smooooooth talking

Should have told her whales aren't known to be cannibalistic.

You're lying. A sperm whale or killer whale has the ability to eat her. It's more likely that a shark or Portuguese Man-O-War will kill her. That should calm her down.

Tell her to krill....I mean chill...

Any comment to your girlfriend that contains "you're way larger than" is directly in the danger zone. You should have just told her you speak whale and could get her back out.