Early bird gets the worm.

Break her leg, then wait for the perfect moment and do the same thing

more like total ******* bitch. kick that door down and exclaim, "Atleast I can kick a door down bitch!"

But in this case early bird gets to take a shit.

10 he cant sadly he has a swollen knee if you didnt read this also he would hurt his knee more if he stood on it alone and kicked thats the whole point of limping

#10 his knee is swollen please explain how that would work?

I meant when it healed

That was the worst fail I've ever seen.

Well when you gotta go you gotta go

That's why you get a cane; at least then you can trip people like her!

He used to be able to run..... Then he took a arrow to the knee...... Please don't kill me...

That guy's mom suffers from Chronic Bitch Disorder (CBD).

Tell her that's okay, you're happy for her... Because she's getting pretty old, and you don't think she'll be able to in a couple of years.

15- tape worms?

You look..hot?

lol I used to be a great archer able to shoot an arrow into a persons knee at 500 yards...and then I found out the painful way that I was not the only person who liked to shoot other people in the knees with arrows

In response to #65's comment

naw see people are misinterpreting my meaning. I've been kicked directly against the bend of my knee in an intense ass sparring bout. I was still able to drop a back hook kick across his dome and lay him out. point is, pain is psychological. besides, I didn't realize op was female until after I ran my keyboard.

Sounds like that one moment ruined your entire life.

10 are you slow? Or full blown retarded?

Awe I lost the game... 104 is a way better troll than I am.

I'm gonna go with slow... Very very slow.

104- you've lost me, can someone please help me find my way out of the alternate dumbass dimension, I really don't want to stay here too long..

He can barely walk, what makes you think he can kick?

79- I've also heard its untreatable, such a shame really

alright well I'm sorry you faggots live blindly in this world with as much self discipline as an impulsive 14 year old with ADHD. nothing I've stated previously has been in accurate, harvest your mind and maybe do a little research before you doubt the capabilities of the human body.

Did you know that one out of every 12 women sufer from CBD? That means that at every party, wedding, or club, there are bitches everywhere.

She obviously Kneeded to use the bathroom..

What happened, arrow to the knee? God I hate those jokes.

****.... You beat me to it

Take a piss outside the washroom door, that way she'll step into it while coming out.. HA

Funniest. Comment. Ever. xD

Mom got the moves

like jagger

I was off my left foot for anything besides walking when I hurt my achilles once. Just ow.

I got bit by a snake on my Achilles tendon, hurt like a mother ******.

Some homeless man tried to bite down on my Achilles tendon once because I wouldn't give him any money. Long story short, I ****** him.

96 - pls tell me u forgot to write "up" at the end of that last sentence. If not, I DEF wanna hear the "long story" part.

No, I would never beat up the homeless. I'm not an asshole. Plus, where else am I going to get sex so cheap? I'm tired of paying 500 dollars for some ***** in Guatemala.

Not to be mean but yo dawg I heard we heard u like knees so we put knees in your knees

Guatemala L O L...

Can someone tell me what 124 was trying to say?

96- should've made an fml post about it :) haha

With what? OP's knee is swollen. That would hurt like a bitch!

Closelined her instead, then?

You heard her wrong, she actually said, "SORRY, I HAVE THE RUNS!".

Or punched her. Hey, your hand's ok so why not?

61 I would hope OP had another leg...

118, op has two options with the tripping. 1) She sticks out her injured leg(ouch) 2) she sticks out her good leg, while standing on her bad leg(also ouch) Unless, of course, you're suggesting OP has 3 legs.

That suggestion is correct. She has 3 legs. Like an octopus, just she is missing the tentacles and doesn't live in water, so... nothing like an octopus. More like a person with 3 legs, out to get her mum.

Am I the only one not getting the irony?

Do i dare say it?

No this isn't ironic at all

Only ironic thing here is using the word irony without knowing the meaning of irony! ZING!!

You can't say "ZING" to your own joke. That's just...sad. When will people learn this...

I hate when people say you can't laugh or in this case 'zing' your own jokes! Why would you tell a joke if you didn't find it funny yourself?

I honestly don't think they're funny, but I don't bitch about the jokes.

I think people have to show on here they were making a joke, because apparently a lot of people don't understand humor, according to what I've seen on FML, and take it to seriously, it's sad really if you think about it.

The person with a swollen knee can't move quickly, and the person with functioning knees can. What part of that isn't an incongruity between expectations and reality? Oh, right, all of it.

#63...at first I thought ur pic was of a dog skiing, but then I realized he was just cleaning up the dirt I swept off my shoulders....ZING??!

You keep saying that word. I do not think you know what it means.

I used to be an adventurer like you

Stop it! Arrow to the knee jokes aren't funny.

43 I used to think that, but then I took an arrow to the knee

**** you 48. -.-

55- I used to **** you, then I took some sense of humor to the brain.

Ok I've been wondering this for like the last few weeks I've gotten on the app. But where is the arrow to the knee reference coming from? Thanks

69- Skyrim.

I wish I could 69 skyrim...

64 they used to be funny.

hahah first time I read those jokes online they were great. skyrim is baws

skyrimnretard

they will find you...

Well then, may Sithis guide them.