Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML
Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML
Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, my son is still peeing on the toilet seat and floor. When will it get better? My son is 18 years-old and apparently can’t aim in the toilet. I had to sit on the pee he left on the toilet seat the other day. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
missanderson813 4
I don't get guys. They can write their name in snow perfectly but can't aim for a large hole.
Enslaved 38
Sometimes, I wish that home restrooms also came with built in urinals.):
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
laurenobrien 4
If he's gonna act like a child, treat him like one
DreamForMe 0
... No man has ever acted like a child while taking a piss
laurenobrien 4
Well kids tend to miss the bowl and so does OPs partner
Vert90 11
It's not a ******* high-calibre sniper. It's like shotgun buckshot. It goes everywhere. It's not necessarily the husband's fault that he pisses on the seat, but he should have the decency to clean it up.
laurenobrien 4
Okay...no need to be cursing at me
Legendoflaw 4
Another person that gets offended. From what I see...he wasn't cursing AT you. Just cursing.
laurenobrien 4
Uh not really..he was directing his comment on me
DocBastard 40
You obviously didn't house train him well enough. I'd put a litter box in the corner for him to use.
pokefan813 16
He'd probably miss that too...
Yodaevil 4
He's training her to leave the seat up.
Cheesecakee 11
umm...my 45 year old dad does this every day...actually i know alot of men that do it...
immaMonsta 8
#18 So that makes it okay?
perdix 31
Invest in a self-raising seat or get used to wiping it down before you sit on it. There's no effective training -- it just sounds like nagging. Take it as payback for your shitty monthly mood :D
McMan 23
perdix, I was expecting something along the lines of this from you, "Paint a target on your ass and have sex. When he finishes he aims at the target. Repeat. Practice makes perfect. :D"
DaKillaMafia 2
Maybe his weapon wasn't sighted properly and thats why his aim was off? Never mind, a guy's _____(whatever you want to call it) is always sighted correctly.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Not really. My brothers is like a spas 12: hits everything but the target.
peacefully84 19
My ex-husband would per on the seat and the floor. I figure his gut was too big and his penis too small to aim properly. my current boyfriend is slim and well hung and has no problem.
Rorix 6
Somebody's got a grudge...
berichsoon 11
I bet you never told him that he was fat and his penis is too small, now that you have a "new bf" time to talk trash
cryssycakesx3 23
wow, good for you, 22.
Jannettecooks 1
I heard on the radio that 89% of all men pee in the shower, so be glad he's at least trying to use the toilet!
spekledworf 18
now THAT is friggin nasty. If my man did that I'd tell hom to put his foot in the toilet next time he takes a piss
KiddNYC1O 22
I pee in the shower a lot. It'll wash away anyways.
BelleIsa_fml 6
And you married him because??
titzenpitzer 9
you watch way too much sex and the city, chill down
BelleIsa_fml 6
Why do I watch too much Sex and the City? (which I actually do not watch at all)
titzenpitzer 9
just reminded me,... you can't question a marriage because of pee on the toiletseat, even though it's annoying
DocBastard 40
...because she loves him, presumably. Are you actually questioning her motives for marrying the guy just because he's peed on the toilet seat twice? For all you know this guy could be a prince with bad aim. I fear for your future husband.
berichsoon 11
She is young, she doesn't know any better. Most girls are like that; at first they say I'm not gonna settle or date anyone unless he's this and that, he needs to have this and he needs to buy me this. Then later they found out that prince charming doesn't exist
kylesgirlforever 12
So your saying if a guy peed on the toilet seat you wouldn't be with him. Talk about shallow
nofearjenshere 12
Maybe because she loves him... Just a thought.
groupleader 7
More like fHL, you need to be trained to put the seat UP after you are done, a little common courtesy would go a long way.
titzenpitzer 9
I'm a weewee-owner myself but I absolutely hate it when the seat is dirty. You can teach him by letting him live in a student's house for a year where nobody cares about the toilet. Cause sometimes...number 2 is lurking...