Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
cardozo 0
Now you know how Jesus felt - being attacked by His own people.
56578 0
PETA is nothing but a bunch of hypocrites. They are ridiculous and deserve to be locked up. I hope you went to the police and filed and assault charge!
RPGod 0
PETA members are dicks
kelther 0
PETA activism rocks - veganism rocks - it's completely easy to tell the difference between faux fur and real fur, so this story is really unlikely...
ammali 0
PETA sucks, I hope that you aren't involved with that group. If you are, YDI. Otherwise, FYL.
texmas 0
Wearing fake fur doesn't create the fur industry. It says, given that every society ever has thought that animal fur looks cool, let's find a way to reconcile that with not killing things.
speedHog 0
If I drink my juice in a wine glass, does this make me *as bad as* an alcoholic according to the PETA standards when it comes to real VS fake? If I eat candy cigarettes in a public area, should I be shunned as if I were a smoker? Seriously, some of you PETA types need to get back on your medication, target the people creating the real problems, make an *actual* difference and stop wasting your time, effort and energy on fakers. Your wasting time on people who DO NOT hurt animals. What is wrong with you? Are your too scared to go to the real targets? If this is what you people do and feel you need a pat on a back for it, you've already lost the plot of your argument. Step back and see what you've achieved. That's 3.6k of votes vs 1.3k and what few voted of that 1k sound unstable. Someone should link this on failblog with giant red spray painted letters saying PETA FAIL. Do us all a favour, go support scientology. No wait, scratch that. Cruise already beat you at making that look like a complete folly in public.
TornadoChaser 0
Are you sure it was PETA? It seems more like an Animal Rights Group (ARG) move, who actually is on classified at a domestic terrorist group. PETA's weapon of choice is flour. Wearing it sends the message that wearing fur, fake or not, is fashionable. Not something an animal rights activist would want to promote but hey whatever, that doesn't give anyone the right to ******* ruin it. Even as a (non assholey) PETA member myself, I really hope you pressed charges.
yourpathetic 0
Ya its funny your an Animal activist and you got jumped by peta, that's funnier than shit. YDI should have known that peta was around and shit. And since your an Animal Activist wearing faux fur You should have also known that wearing it would get that shit done to you as well. I dont feel sorry for you at all, but i am laughing my ass off pretty hard at the moment.
iLivetoFail 0
PETA is fcking psycho. they kill animals.