Health, Relatable and Vegan: One step beyond

One step beyond

By Go vegan! - 06/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 304

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Edgy

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 10:00

Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 250

By LunaCrow - 10/02/2015 02:32 - United States - Shakopee

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 500

You deserved it 3 125

By blondetergent - 20/06/2011 08:12 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 918

You deserved it 15 347

By fuckedbyahipster - 15/06/2013 16:13 - Finland

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 739

You deserved it 2 891

By loves the smell of burning flesh - 01/11/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 676

You deserved it 62 820

Pay no mind

By Jlhfan90 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 196

You deserved it 19 430

No way in hell

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 00:02

Today, I told my husband we should try go vegan for a while to see if there were any health benefits. He threw me over his shoulder and put me outside, because, “crazy plant ladies live outside with the other vegetables.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 1 001

Proselytizing

By Jax - 17/11/2022 18:00

Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 210

By fuck you with a bacon cock - 04/04/2014 22:07 - United Kingdom - Forres

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 323

You deserved it 3 513

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 144

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 6 April 2024 23:29

You're not a militant vegan, you're a ******* psychopath. Seek help. Urgently.

smoochmysnoot 5

Sunday 7 April 2024 0:09

Why can’t vegans let other people eat what they want in peace? Vegans that are food nazis need to **** right off and mind their own damn business, you included. Asshole.

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 6 April 2024 22:17

I agree your life sucks, mainly because of your convictions...

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 6 April 2024 23:29

You're not a militant vegan, you're a ******* psychopath. Seek help. Urgently.

smoochmysnoot 5

Sunday 7 April 2024 0:09

Why can’t vegans let other people eat what they want in peace? Vegans that are food nazis need to **** right off and mind their own damn business, you included. Asshole.

L0life29 6

Sunday 7 April 2024 3:21

you’re one the reasons this god damn country is going to shit

tiptoppc 19

Monday 8 April 2024 23:03

And OP is the reason plants are going to shit..

jlc82 9

Sunday 7 April 2024 3:48

sounds like a great idea...potentially causing sickness in the animals you claim to love so much

Sertorius 10

Sunday 7 April 2024 8:15

Also note that the resulting allergy is only to mammalian meat, which contains alpha galactose. You can eat as much chicken and fish as you want. Dumbass.