Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
Larawr 0
Plenty of vegetarians just go about their cruelty reducing ways quietly, only kicking up a fuss when faced with stupid people that think we all go around squirting red dye at people. Incase you didn't notice, this FML was posted by a /vegan/ complaining about PETA. Hate PETA, vegetarianism.
zap_fml 0
PETA sucks.
wigwam 0
Screw your story, I want to know what the hell happened with #26.
Ibeapirate 0
love the animals, hate the PETA.
baseline 0
YDI. ******* vegans.
jnic 0
Dude, **** all these "wearing fake fur is wrong because it looks like the real thing" people. It is SO easy to tell what's fake fur, especially on hood trims such as the OP's, which is extremely common and everyone knows that.
G_Bug 0
***** them man, I would've had their asses sent to jail! Ruining a jacket, go ruin their lawns! (Why lawns idk) peta kill the animals they take in ffs, revenge revenge revenge.
farf_fml 0
Haha, #78, I'll see you in triple bypass surgery, and again when you are getting your arteries worked on, and maybe again when you are getting a goiter removed. Have fun in ignorance.
backstagebitch 0
PETA are a bunch of criminals who also sexually exploit women for their campaigns. Like their Lettuce Ladies campaign... a bunch of nearly naked women in lettuce bikinis... sure they have a male counterpart to that campaign... but the men are fully dressed... it's kind of disgusting to see how they have so much respect for animals but no respect for humans... who ARE animals.
chea_chea 0
I think it doesn't matter whether they think you're wearing fake fur or real fur, you don't just "attack" random people on the street with red liquid, what BS. If someone did that to me I might very well be writing the FML from a holding cell, for a different reason