Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
curious_missy 1
so...PETA ppl don't own cars, don't ride the bus or the metro, they don't use the heat nor the AC in their homes, and when they go outside they definitely do not wear coats that may have sheep filling????? Cut the crap PETA ppl. I love animals, I would never hurt one and whenever I have free time I volunteer at animal shelters to give 'em some love. But come on, I still live my life how ever I want to. And by the way, being a vegan and/or vegetarian is kind of contradictory because plants are living creatures too. So how about you all starve and do society a big favor!
inkedgeek 0
eat a steak you hairy snatched hippie.
Ceej20 0
Ummm.... This is some bullshit. Who cares if she is an activist or a vegan or whatever. It doesn't matter if the fur was fake or real she should be able to wear clothes that she pays for without having to worry about some asshole coming up and ruining it with red liquid. PETA is out of control.... wow this just made me really angry.lol
daisyfuck 0
"Numerous PETA members"? I find that really hard to believe. Usually when they vandalize fur coats on people, it's someone with "important" or "high class", which I guess was never really specified here, but it still sounds phoney. When I read that I seriously imagined some completely random mob of PETA members holding up signs, protesting nothing in particular on that day, and they see you and **** with you? Ionno...
123654789 0
Fields4mint 0
Just goes to show that PETA is only full of a bunch of arse holes. PETA kills! They euthanize about 80% of the animals they claim to save!
mouseintern 0
Good, maybe now you'll understand how sick people are of the childish, inconsiderate destruction and disruption you "activists" bring. Be thankful they just poured red dye. They've done worse. You definitely deserved it.
blue_mandie4 0
Make them pay for your dry cleaning bill and if that still doesn't get it out, make them pay for a whole new jacket! I'm not against animal activists, but come on, don't go throwing stuff on strangers!
e86 0
#19 is right. There's no reason why this person shouldn't be allowed to wear fake fur. That's what it's for; an alternative to killing animals for it. But whether its real fur or not, they're destroying someone's property which is wrong.
racheyvengence 0
Bull.. I totally doubt that.