By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 549
You deserved it 823

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"I /knew/ meeting your family would bite me in the ass!" "What do you mean? That seems more like an excuse to make a pun than something that has relevance to what happened." "I… I don't know. Wow. What if we're just characters in an FML comment and none of this is real?" "Don't say things like that. It's fucking horrifying."

What a tasty ass

Comments

I knew liking that fellow was going to bite me in the ass.

I'll show you the way out

Right this way, gentlemen.

species4872 19

Ha that's funny, the kid's going places.

Is there a proffesion for eating ass?

Kids do the darnedtest things.

He likes to take the phrase "eat ass" literally

#4 & #5's pictures go so well together omg

I feel like even though my comments aren't necessarily that funny, they get more downvotes because Trump is my picture. When it was Greedo I would usually have positive votes, but every comment since I changed my picture has been negative

Yeah, downvoting is a censorship mechanism in disguise. If there's one good thing about facebook it's the absence of downvoting.

I know who he voted for.

Pfft, that's NOTHING. I know who everybody under that age of 18 voted for!

A reputable psychologist may be able to predict what a toddler may do a majority of the time. But no one - and I mean no one - can predict what a toddler is going to do all the time. I wouldn't take it to heart, OP. Kids are weird. Kid probably thought he was being funny or something in a butts are funny and biting gets reactions out of people, let me bite 'er on but for shiggles or attention or whatever kinda way. And for some reason I doubt the kid bit you hard enough to like need stitched or something. Butts are pretty well... "cushioned" ... as welll. So the "buttpain" was likely shortlived. TBH, if I was there in person I'd probably have laughed. In any case, I'd say the toddlers parents may very well have been more embarrassed than you are hurt as well...

Even Sigmund Freud has nothing on toddlers.

"I /knew/ meeting your family would bite me in the ass!" "What do you mean? That seems more like an excuse to make a pun than something that has relevance to what happened." "I… I don't know. Wow. What if we're just characters in an FML comment and none of this is real?" "Don't say things like that. It's fucking horrifying."

A well-timed fart would end that behavior instantly and permanently.

What a little player.

Or sexual predator?

What a tasty ass