Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML
Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
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Top comments
KeithHarris 0
Serves you right for wearing fake animals. Next time wear the real thing so you'll at least deserve getting pelted with fake animal blood. :-D PETA members are dicks.
michellaneous 0
whats with the red liquids lately? well, PETA is a bit extreme, but they shouldn't be going around bombarding people with red liquids!
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Comments (510)
ozymandias_fml 0
#56, Funny, all the independent studies I have ever seen show the human being is omnivorous, and cannot subsist on a locally grown, all vegan diet for the vast majority of the world. You can manage an all vegan diet, but it requires supplements, and consumption of non-locally grown foods, or modern farming methods and imported crops -- something that a primitive person cannot do. Studies have also shown, repeatedly, that without animal products, and animal meats, the population of the earth is unsustainable. Without animal based fertilizers, the crop land wears out too fast, and without grazing animals to turn marginal, non-arable lands (flood basins, desert grasslands, etc) into food producing lands, we are basically screwed.
ibaneziceman 0
PETA members are hypocrites anyway.
arichi 0
YDI. You and your friends would have done it to someone else. Pardon the pun, but what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Miss_Tyff 0
#146, you took the words right out of my mouth. =)
cesarm 0
How r people is nice, huh?
lyndis_fml 0
That's assault. Why would you complain about it on the internet instead of having them arrested? Dumbass.
bt4mu 0
Dear PETA, I am a beef/corn/soybean producer. Your methods are extreme, animals are tasty, that's why we eat them. They look good, hince why we wear them. Speaking from a view point of actually being on the farm and seeing how animals are produced, they are in no way shape or form mistreated, and most are all killed humanily (which is weird because they aren't humans). This is why you all are dumb: Your organization helped to pass a law banning the slaugher of horses in the US, horses that are old, sick to near death, or have a broken leg that need to be put down. Instead of being humanily put to death here, people are making a fortune off of horses by taking them to Mexico, where God knows what they are doing to the animals down there. Next time, stay in the city and leave the animal producers, who actually understand things, to take care of their animals in the way they see fit. That is all.
guitardedman 0
148 wtf? that made no sense at all... ive read your post 5 times and fail to make even the slightest bit of demented sense out of it. she deserves it because you think that her and her friends are also terrorists? you are a complete idiot.
ozymandias_fml 0
#153 The OP admitted to being an activist.
skierguy 0
I'm a member of PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals