By nice education you've got there - United States - Monroe Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML I agree, your life sucks 37246 You deserved it 7270 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam_Licker81 - United States Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML I agree, your life sucks 25684 You deserved it 6645 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Discostu80 - Australia Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered in my wifes ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud because I was embarrassing her. FML I agree, your life sucks 46672 You deserved it 6912 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jeoak - India Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 32456 You deserved it 2244 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stonesober - United Kingdom Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML I agree, your life sucks 24657 You deserved it 3549 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Failed_Dad - United States - Davis Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML I agree, your life sucks 24570 You deserved it 2705 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dating a pussy - United States - Maryville Scream Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML I agree, your life sucks 43061 You deserved it 5718 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heartless - United States Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML I agree, your life sucks 25463 You deserved it 2494 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Winnipeg Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML I agree, your life sucks 45571 You deserved it 4871 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sam - United States Today, I got a text just before class that my partner didn't finish their half of our 30 page research paper because "That class is stupid". FML I agree, your life sucks 40742 You deserved it 4081 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML I agree, your life sucks 36245 You deserved it 3006 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By O0hdear - United States - Humble Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML I agree, your life sucks 11502 You deserved it 32377 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crizzy - United States Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML I agree, your life sucks 40585 You deserved it 4221 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after a long shift, I came home and cleaned my house so I could relax tomorrow. I finished up the night with a soothing bubble bath, which was lovely until the ceiling collapsed into the tub. I can't even wash the filth off because my bath is full of drain-clogging plaster. FML I agree, your life sucks 2691 You deserved it 133 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SeeingLlamas - United States - Knoxville Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML I agree, your life sucks 37015 You deserved it 3067 314 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 23:01 Feeders Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML I agree, your life sucks 631 You deserved it 839 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JAMjessie - United States Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 12280 You deserved it 857 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oregon Does it taste good? Today, while my boyfriend was fingering me, he accidentally pulled out my NuvaRing, he then licked it off and placed it back inside me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2693 You deserved it 491 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meach - United States Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 39703 You deserved it 4164 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By peeoncarl1111 - United States Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 10414 You deserved it 119039 345 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jayne - United States Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML I agree, your life sucks 28203 You deserved it 2810 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML I agree, your life sucks 37995 You deserved it 5541 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sad_dad - Canada Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML I agree, your life sucks 39911 You deserved it 10201 202 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sXeQueen - United States Hush Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML I agree, your life sucks 13243 You deserved it 30922 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Beloit Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML I agree, your life sucks 30460 You deserved it 2606 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML I agree, your life sucks 36870 You deserved it 3460 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Austria Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML I agree, your life sucks 48317 You deserved it 3120 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jololol - United States Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML I agree, your life sucks 51108 You deserved it 3314 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By my_only_friend - United States - Chicago Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML I agree, your life sucks 57585 You deserved it 7254 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Aberdeen Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML I agree, your life sucks 35954 You deserved it 4171 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML I agree, your life sucks 13795 You deserved it 34078 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poolboy - United States Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML I agree, your life sucks 94079 You deserved it 9252 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML I agree, your life sucks 28434 You deserved it 3137 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DennisQuaide69 The date from hell #5676 Today, I went on an a date with a guy I met online. We were waiting in line at Starbucks when he turned to me and said, "Do you want anything?" Just before I was about to answer, he practically shoved in front of me and paid for himself. The cashier looked more horrified than I did. FML I agree, your life sucks 5247 You deserved it 475 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML I agree, your life sucks 26440 You deserved it 2947 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notquitejuliet - United States - Gibsonia Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 25206 You deserved it 6640 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lisa - United States Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 10753 You deserved it 35742 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unwanted - United States - Fallbrook Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML I agree, your life sucks 16088 You deserved it 34707 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By uglyyyyy - United States Today, I was working my job at Sephora when I overheard two women talking. One of them asked her friend, "Is being pretty a requirement to work here?" Her friend turned to see me, turned back to her friend and said, "I guess not." FML I agree, your life sucks 39853 You deserved it 3243 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WellOops Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML I agree, your life sucks 1608 You deserved it 9291 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wanted_2_want | 40 #7688574 - Thursday 6 September 2018 5:27 Ha ! That’s me when my girlfriend used to say “we need to talk” Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By wanted_2_want | 40 #7688574 - Thursday 6 September 2018 5:27 Ha ! That’s me when my girlfriend used to say “we need to talk” Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 294 You deserved it 90 3 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 152 3 Comments
That’s me when my girlfriend used to say “we need to talk”