Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML
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Top comments
Willibobs 33
Think 'sick freaks' is taking it a bit too far. I'm more offended by your judgement of them as opposed to their conversation.
WCARlover 35
I really hope the teenager has some other person in her life to serve as a role model
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Comments (221)
_kyleG_ 34
The secret is love, respect and communication... Anal doesn't hurt, but it's a mere drop in the pond by comparison of what's really important.
captaincarlz 17
Well if you don't do it right it hurts...
haileyrows 26
I don't think that was the point he was trying to make...
its_me_kyla 10
why do guys like anal?
jaymartino86 10
As long as Wal-Mart exists. These people will flourish
russfml 31
No, it's just where those people end up lol
jaymartino86 10
haha very true
stingray112 24
You literally just repeated his point
Enslaved 38
And here I thought it was giving them BJ's. Who knew I had to step up my game?
lilybadilly25 15
It's Walmart…. What did you expect?
firelegend 17
Sorry, someone beat you to it...
dragonladiesfire 19
Maybe keeping the wrong guy for life. eventually your "shitter" gets anal tearing and you'll need surgery if done a lot. but..I mean it all depends what you want in life. It could be the secret for that one girl for keeping a guy for life. maybe her ****** is too lose and he needs something tighter? I wouldn't want to overhear that conversation either. no teenage girl should be hearing that from someone..until she knows what she wants.
cryssycakesx3 23
vaginas don't stretch out from sex. women have kids and they're fine.
stridick 9
you're all wrong. with proper preparation and a lot of lube (which **** doesn't seem to use) you won't tear or anything. the only reason her ****** would be loose is if he did a good job arousing her, so that's not the problem. educate yourselves please
Patriots21 14
Okay take this advice from someone in the medical field: yes anal manifestations (anal fissures, sphincter rupture, hemorrhoids) do occur. Having said that, obviously this doesn't occur in everyone, there is variation based on the anatomy of the people involved, etc. Secondly, yes vaginas do stretch, even from sex and even from foreplay.
ma12r 22
What do you expect? It's Walmart...not exactly the classiest of places...believe me I should know.
cryssycakesx3 23
for some reason that phrase grabs my goat. so unless you say "believe me I know" should we not believe you? do people never lie when they say "believe me" or do you just want people to ask why you know?
ma12r 22
Well I do work at Walmart and have heard some pretty disgusting things. So to me I wouldn't be surprised if OP heard this at a Walmart.
ninety 25
29 - I would assume people generally mean they have some sort of personal experience with the situation when they use that phrase. You appear to be reading into it too hard.
Cassandra2015 21
People of Walmart..sex edition.
FMyLyricalAnus 11
More like marriage counseling. Walmart edition.
laden_swallow09 35
Well, she's not wrong… Give a guy oral, and he's at least 10x more likely to put up with your bullshit.
meliodafool_ 15
If giving oral is pleasuring his mouth with savory, home cooked goodness, then you are absolutely correct.
laden_swallow09 35
No, that'll have him put up with 1,000x more of your bullshit.
Johnnycake23 42
Closed minded douche much? People can do whatever they want with their own bodies.
rude_boi256 12
Sound advice, though not exactly age appropriate.