Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Willibobs 33
Think 'sick freaks' is taking it a bit too far. I'm more offended by your judgement of them as opposed to their conversation.
WCARlover 35
I really hope the teenager has some other person in her life to serve as a role model
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (221)
SkeletonSan 0
How did y'all think you didn't get poop ask over your junk when you stuck it in?
uchihadesendent 14
I never had a relationship with a gf before but judging something before you try it isn't the way to go imo
ninety 25
To some people there are just some things that are totally unappealing for some reason or another. It's totally fine if someone wants to try something, but on the flip side of the coin it's totally fine to not want to try something, too.
HighlandShadows 48
You think he's offended by the anal? I read it more that he was disgusted someone would give explicit sex advice to a teenager. But maybe I read it wrong...
theotherguyss 3
Well anal might suck ass at first, but it may be something you might rectum not doing. If you're up for it, I know you can push through!
dakotaabriannee 14
Now I'm just waiting to read an FML post from the teenage girl who received this advice.
fiveforfighting 26
Perhaps it's time to move or maybe shop somewhere else.
captainsmegma 12
Everyone needs a clean shutter.
bkbrown01 3
Not trying to be the odd ball, but anal is actually great! This is coming from a girl that has a boyfriend who tends to like it from time to time. I'll try anything once to spice things up.
ClaireBrush 16
I think "sick freak" is a little harsh
Nevrdai 5
That's a really ****** up thing to say to an under aged girl... Especially since the secret to keeping a guy for life is being able to tell him when he's being an idiot without being a bitch about it.
colton092 4
agreed (with the lady)