Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML
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Top comments
Willibobs 33
Think 'sick freaks' is taking it a bit too far. I'm more offended by your judgement of them as opposed to their conversation.
WCARlover 35
I really hope the teenager has some other person in her life to serve as a role model
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Comments (221)
tremndose 6
the epitome of every experience i've had at walmart
big_tipp 7
50 Shades Of Walmart
UhHuhHoney 20
Lol it would be at Walmart.
kenerics 12
I literally don't see a problem with this at all chill man
janfleury 19
Reason # 1397204 not to go to Wal-Mart.
alyyxia 9
actually thats pretty true. it only disgusts me that she was talking loud enough for someone else to hear. but you do have to clean your system before anal unless the guy likes shit. xD
adam_nvx 19
Similar to others who have commented, I don't agree with the advice given to the teenager, however, the thing that bothers me far more is the judgemental "sick freaks" comment by the OP. (Most teenagers, no matter on which end of the spectrum 13-18, would either laugh at such a "secret" or dismiss it entirely. I have a difficult time thinking anyone would take something like this so seriously).
uhohitslisa2 20
Wouldn't necessarily say 'sick freaks'. I think it's gross. However, some people are into that. Whatever floats your boat. BUT! I feel like the way the lady worded it wasn't right.
amoknystrom 3
Well, it would probably keep me for life
TADspace 30
Because the sexs is bad right? Seriously, you need to chill a bit.