Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
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Top comments
ILoveEggnog 7
I always claim my farts.
SmelloJello 9
After your mom stopped chewing you out, u shoulda just farted in her face and giggled.
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Comments (138)
amrik 11
you should never fart in front of your mom ever
shelbygordon44 7
take pride in your farts.
muhaidib 2
at least they weren't sulfuric and makes you want to vomit as if he ate hard boiled rotten eggs... it could be worst
ChickenInMyKitch 4
^reference win!!
imacreeper 3
that was me.
SunDropGirl 0
28 I thought only burps could smell sulferic? I mean I know farts can be really bad! but sulferic?
EatnBeef 7
farts are methane not sulfur. ( watch me get loads of thumbs down)
sterlingarcher 1
hahaha omg I love walmart it's like THE store to do stupid stuff at :D
SuperAnthony 7
I just love how you described it... "vicious."
goldneagle31 1
They didn't say they "are sulfur," but egg farts have a tendency to smell like sulfur.
ILoveEggnog 7
I always claim my farts.
iBanana 17
You name makes sense now.
ILoveEggnog 7
Eggnog doesn't give me gas. Taco Bell on the other hand is quite deadly.
Tayman24 0
is it bad if this FML gave me a boner????!?
ILoveEggnog 7
No.
seanders 10
The thought of a cute girl blowing ass always makes me **** in my pants.
kocoman500 2
LMFAO 89
zojieeu 6
90 cause he has a dirty fetish of smelling cute girls farts :D
kingtz 6
Which is ironic, because cute girls don't fart...
seanders 10
Oh sweet you're from Ontario too 90. Maybe you can blow a few my way.:p
lis54 1
great thanks perv
collegegirl87 0
That is so embarrassing! FYL
alyslove 5
"vicious farts"........ hahahahahahaha
XXizzlerXX 0
Ikr?! "vicious farts" hehe
whiteboy7thst 2
guess you call that disOWNING...
myxcure 2
Guess not?
whiteboy7thst 2
And why is that
UnknwnClassicGrl 5
Uhm, sorry! Wasn't funny, thanks for trying though.
whiteboy7thst 2
I know I failed
iAmScrubs 19
^yes, the first step is admitting it.
whiteboy7thst 2
I think I'm on the right track.
shelbygordon44 7
Way to accept defeat, Broseph.
xxlauruh 0
what was your original thought in posting that?
Nikki_ASW 0
Why didn't you just say it was him? YDI.
whiteboy7thst 2
Because then it wouldn't be on FML. C'mon now.
Every1luvsfmls 6
chi nigr0
HikaruZanshii 3
Lolol 30 Anyhow, if OP said it was her, it would be kind of impolite from her to accuse someone else even if it wasnt her cause any other ways, i guess her mom would've not believed her. T: on my opinion.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Box hobo! :D
misabel90 6
u could've just said it was him
RawAwesome 0
GAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
SmelloJello 9
After your mom stopped chewing you out, u shoulda just farted in her face and giggled.
OasC82 0
ha your so funny
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Your so funny ..what? What's so funny?
holymolybro 0
Sarcasm. That's what's funny.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Is that.... a stapler?
xtacticalswarmx 0
Hey, Chad Kroger...GTFO! -_- Your comments make me cry inside.
xtacticalswarmx 0
Hey, Chad Kroger...GTFO! -_- Your comments make me cry inside.