Embarrassing, Shopping, Awkward and Kids: It's true, though

It's true, though

By humiliated - 20/03/2016 11:54 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 132

You deserved it 2 359

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Same thing different taste

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 369

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 747

You deserved it 14 091

Kids Say the Darndest Things

By Lolabunny - 21/08/2018 04:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 346

By super maman - 30/09/2014 03:08 - France - Montauban

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 698

You deserved it 5 487

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 172

You deserved it 3 901

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 877

You deserved it 8 362

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 301

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 430

You deserved it 16 955

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 867

You deserved it 5 239

By Anonymous - 10/09/2015 01:15 - United States - Mountain View

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 506

You deserved it 2 607

sp00derman 23

Monday 21 March 2016 0:06

well... she's right

B0RN_kRAZY 16

Monday 21 March 2016 0:07

She got that from the Charmin Ultra Plush toilet paper commercials... DUH

Comments

sp00derman 23

Monday 21 March 2016 0:06

well... she's right

Elban 20

Monday 21 March 2016 2:24

I'd do the same thing. Can't wait to go shopping with the girlfriend

B0RN_kRAZY 16

Monday 21 March 2016 0:07

She got that from the Charmin Ultra Plush toilet paper commercials... DUH

FlutterLoud 29

Monday 21 March 2016 0:14

That's what I was thinking :) lol. Kids say the darnedest things

andrmac 25

Monday 21 March 2016 3:42

Can't be the Charming Ultra that leaves dingle berries.

ragingtom123 11

Monday 21 March 2016 0:07

Just some friendly advice.

waleedma 18

Monday 21 March 2016 0:09

Smart kid!!!!!

pancakebob15 7

Monday 21 March 2016 0:10

I screamed this out in the store with my mom she never will know where I got it from

Magnoxidans 19

Monday 21 March 2016 0:12

As far as FMLs go, this one is pretty adorable and a great story to tell at a 21st!

Crawyz 11

Monday 21 March 2016 0:12

Well she's not wrong

kowsee 22

Monday 21 March 2016 0:12

Legit.

mm12344 8

Monday 21 March 2016 0:26

Does she have older siblings?

Redmond64 16

Monday 21 March 2016 0:36

That's pretty correct

Keywords

Teenagers Friends Love Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Work Revenge Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Facebook Social Media Jealousy Relationship advice Kids AITA Shoes Annoying Roommate Music Names Customers Education Capitalism

The Top

Today, it's only been two months since my daughter has owned her home and now she wants to move back to my house because she lost her job and can’t afford the mortgage, plus she got pregnant off a one-night stand and needs my help with the baby. Bang goes my plans for a quiet retirement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 110

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

The Top

Today, my sense of smell is severely impaired by a bad cold. As a result, I inadvertently ate some highly questionable dairy. I figured this out after my roommate sniffed my yogurt and gagged, just before my bowels had their opportunity to object to my meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 490

Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 335

You deserved it 15 734

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 542

You deserved it 41 826

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 894

You deserved it 37 202

Today, I handed in my resignation letter after over 3 and a half years working at the company. My manager is angry with me, since we returned from an overseas business trip yesterday and why didn't I inform her before the trip. She now wants me to pay all costs of trip before leaving the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 008

You deserved it 1 213

Today, I'm having an existential crisis. I don't what the future holds, I'm overthinking and stressing about things I could've controlled. Now I'm having a breakdown and I've got a test tomorrow and I have to take a bath, but all my lazy ass does is worry but never actually do the fucking work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 497

It's true, though

Same thing different taste

Amplified

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Stunned silence

Paper-thin walls

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