Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette... - FML

By AIienware

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

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Running commentary

QUIET PLEASE

Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop

By Anonymous - Germany

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

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By xoccerplaya - United States

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

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By hadtocleanthemess - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

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By Insensitive - Australia

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

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By fml - United States - Billerica

Today, they introduced us to this cheesy school email program. I was trying to be funny and made a draft and sent it to "All" and I typed, "Thanos did nothing wrong." The send button was right next to the discard email button. I sent,"Thanos did nothing wrong" to every kid and teacher at school. FML

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By lumi - United States

Today, I received in the mail a hockey puck autographed by recent hall of fame addition Steve Yzerman. When asked, I had to explain to my 4 year old brother that someone famous had written his name on it. Later, I discovered that my brother decided it needed his name on it too. FML

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By Kevin - Canada

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

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By thecathater - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

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By howaboutno - United States

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

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By quit fucking up my life - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

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By lea5459 - United States - Medford

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

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By missseloit3

Et tu, Brute?

Today I caught my husband cheating on me in our bed with my 19-year-old brother. FML

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By single lady - United States

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

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By burrito kid - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, as I was taking the driver's test to get my license, I backed into a car. It belonged to the instructor sitting in my passenger seat. FML

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By LaughingFML - Canada - Oshawa

Today, my best friend jokingly blocked my number until I apply for a job. She is also supposed to be picking me up from the airport, so now I have no way to contact her to tell her what time. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

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By outofluckatcollege - United States - Lewisville

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't stuck rooming together for the rest of a semester that hasn't even started yet. FML

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By ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall - Cyprus - Strovolos

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

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By Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

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By Lvdkinda - United States

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

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By bitch - United States

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

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By alycion

Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML

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By Anonymous - Switzerland

Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

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By Anonymous - 17/10/2020 23:02 - United States - Pittsburgh

Moving on

Today, I saw yet another dear friend from uni get married, living the good life in their new home. Here am I in my 30s, with no love life, and feeling like that's never going to be for me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I actually said the words "yes, a blowjob from a guy is still cheating" to my husband. I never thought that would be a problem. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2020 05:32 - India - Mumbai

Haircut, haircuuuut

Today, I came to the decision that I needed some variety in my life, so I decided to get a haircut. My mom insisted that she could do it and that she had experience because she cuts my dad's short hair. I had thick, long hair. Now, my hair is uneven, ugly and short. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Bonita Springs

Today, my sister got promoted to manager at the store we both work at. Since company policy states that siblings can't work at the same store if one of them is a manager, I was let go. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

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By HP_22 - United States

Today, I was the only employee at a video store where I work when it got robbed. After crying, shaking and spending two hours and dealing with the police, my boss called and told me it was good experience and I would know what to do next time, then made me finish my shift, the night shift, alone. FML

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By awkwardgayboi - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

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By 12345678910 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

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By AkaiKitsune - Canada - Victoria

Today, while riding around the lake, a pair of kids thought it was okay to take turns yanking my horse's tail and running away so they didn't get kicked. When I told the parents not to let their kids do that, they said that I shouldn't be riding if I can't "control my beast". FML

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By spandex - United States

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

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By cockfist - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

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By Bestfrienduncool - France

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

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By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

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By rplovez - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

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By arther

Today, I got up at 3:15 a.m. to be ready for work at 5 a.m. I get to my work station to find absolutely no work to do. After talking with my boss, I was sent home with no pay. If I'd been employed there 3 weeks longer, I would've been paid for 4 hours. FML

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By Obee - Canada

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

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Top comments

By Cads1 | 24

#6336752 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:41

You should not have to foot the bill on that.

By buckstop1 | 37

#6336726 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:22

That toetally sucks that you have to pay for it.

COMMENTS

By CoGhostRider | 31

#6336715 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:19

Looks like you fumbled this job big time.

Reply

dewberry2001 | 25

#6336754 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:43

Go home

By jadelagrue | 14

#6336716 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:19

oh no thats horrible maybe talk with your boss and see if theres another option at all?

By Quetzal27 | 12

#6336725 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:22

Thats sounds awful, since anything that looks realistic like that would cause anyone (including your boss) to be surprised. Sucks that you dropped and broke it. See if you can offer to pay half, you boss may be somewhat reasonable if you offer. Sorry that happened.

By buckstop1 | 37

#6336726 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:22

That toetally sucks that you have to pay for it.

Reply

IthinkYouForeign | 11

#6337356 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 20:31

Why? He broke it he pays for it

By rockninja | 21

#6336729 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:24

well... if i was the woman i surely have said that it was real just for a laugh.

By Dartual | 8

#6336732 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

That would still worry me if it were fake...

By Psycocharger | 19

#6336748 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:38

Ouch. Sorry for you OP! FYL

By NakuEh | 27

#6336751 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:40

Why would someone keep something like that in their car? That is a FML involving cops having the same misunderstanding waiting to unfold.

By Cads1 | 24

#6336752 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:41

You should not have to foot the bill on that.

Reply

JackAtPage | 13

#6336756 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:44

How is this not top comment?

Reply

TheCookieComet | 23

#6336778 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:04

Top comment is the one who posts first....

Reply

buckstop1 | 37

#6336812 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 2:32

Oh boy... you came from iFunny, didn't you.

Reply

vreddyp | 10

#6337182 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 15:30

love this. intra app references.

By BananaCoconutty | 24

#6336757 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:45

I OVERHEARD A FATHER YELLING AT HIS TODDLER WHO REFUSED TO SIT STILL IN THE SHOPPING CART “IF YOU FALL DOWN AND BREAK YOUR FOOT DON’T COME RUNNING TO ME."

Reply

domolovesyoshi | 33

#6336792 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:33

WHY ARE WE YELLING?

Reply

xluciferx666 | 21

#6336795 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:37

LOUD NOISES!!!!!

Reply

Lalala579121 | 27

#6336867 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 4:41

I AM YELLING ALSO

Reply

Hildy93 | 21

#6336920 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 6:27

AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Reply

Rented_eyebrows | 18

#6336949 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 7:09

Am I the only one not yelling?

Reply

RockstarJAy | 16

#6336987 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 9:24

YES

Reply

KobeLebroJordan | 17

#6336996 - Wednesday 1 July 2015 9:47

HOW IS THIS RELEVANT?