Animals: Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove...

By piercednipple - 30/06/2015 16:02 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 067

You deserved it 2 760

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Same thing different taste

Kinky Crab

By Robert Herrin - 14/08/2018 18:30

Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 2 131

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 486

Carly Rae Jepsen

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 23:00

Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 246

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 162

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 709

You deserved it 9 797

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 375

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 693

You deserved it 3 530

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 253

You deserved it 5 275

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 972

You deserved it 4 661

By corasmom - 27/07/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 872

You deserved it 10 542

jimmer23 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:23

My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

sarah5745 41

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:20

Holy shit!

Comments

sarah5745 41

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:20

Holy shit!

MissCloudy249 14

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

Funny, I said the exact same thing after I read this. It's just really all you CAN say.

shmoooopie 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:04

Holy nipple!

NoName011 12

Wednesday 1 July 2015 2:21

Reading this FML just makes me cringe...ouch.

iseebearbears 27

Wednesday 1 July 2015 6:39

@21, wholey nipple*

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Wednesday 1 July 2015 6:45

It's always the quiet ones...

blinked_281 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:21

Cheaper than going to a pro piercer right?

MeanBeagle 22

Wednesday 1 July 2015 5:38

maybe not depending on infections...

neilmalik 12

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:21

Through your nipple?

airbear18 15

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:29

they have sharp teeth my cousin owned one and it bit my finger :(

MyUsernameisEpic 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:22

He knows what he wants.

davidpropert 32

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:31

He saw a chance and he took it

jimmer23 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:23

My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

rockninja 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

omg that is just not okay. nope not at all

Rinat_fml 26

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

Guys are worse tbh. #slutpost

stryder9090 28

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:31

Some people pay good dollars for similar procedures

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:37

Op did not deserve any of that

Ted_brosby 4

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:37

Hope OP is not a girl. And before you say why does it matter. Because no one really cares about a dudes nipples.

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:39

Would still hurt like hell though

Zaketh2112 10

Wednesday 1 July 2015 2:59

**** that. I care about my man-nips

LeashaJoy5595 28

Wednesday 1 July 2015 3:57

Unfortunately she is a girl, it's on the top left. I'm sure it was pure agony, no one deserves that!

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 18:28

Agreed #39

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Awkward YouTube Language Teachers Education Animals Cats Cars Health Relatable Clumsy Ironic Love Anniversary Cute Shopping Social Media Embarrassing Instagram Injury Crush Sports Clothes Work Birds Food Jealousy Mental health

The Top

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 238

You deserved it 10 107

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 392

You deserved it 14 238

The Top

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 800

You deserved it 2 295

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 706

You deserved it 4 628

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 769

You deserved it 42 620

Today, after spending $15,000 to treat my dog's cancer over the past two months, he died of kidney failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 652

You deserved it 19 809

Today, cops showed up at my house looking for an ex neighbor. It would be all cool if before knocking they didn't politely wait in front of my window listening me and my boyfriend having sex for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 222

You deserved it 3 388

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 747

You deserved it 2 794

Same thing different taste

Kinky Crab

Carly Rae Jepsen

Poor little guy

Red or grey?

Top comments

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