Animals: Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove...

By piercednipple - 30/06/2015 16:02 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 068

You deserved it 2 761

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Same thing different taste

Kinky Crab

By Robert Herrin - 14/08/2018 18:30

Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 2 131

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 486

Carly Rae Jepsen

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 23:00

Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 246

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 166

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 711

You deserved it 9 798

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 377

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 694

You deserved it 3 531

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 253

You deserved it 5 275

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 972

You deserved it 4 661

By corasmom - 27/07/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 874

You deserved it 10 543

jimmer23 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:23

My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

sarah5745 41

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:20

Holy shit!

Comments

sarah5745 41

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:20

Holy shit!

MissCloudy249 14

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

Funny, I said the exact same thing after I read this. It's just really all you CAN say.

shmoooopie 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 1:04

Holy nipple!

NoName011 12

Wednesday 1 July 2015 2:21

Reading this FML just makes me cringe...ouch.

iseebearbears 27

Wednesday 1 July 2015 6:39

@21, wholey nipple*

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Wednesday 1 July 2015 6:45

It's always the quiet ones...

blinked_281 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:21

Cheaper than going to a pro piercer right?

MeanBeagle 22

Wednesday 1 July 2015 5:38

maybe not depending on infections...

neilmalik 12

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:21

Through your nipple?

airbear18 15

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:29

they have sharp teeth my cousin owned one and it bit my finger :(

MyUsernameisEpic 29

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:22

He knows what he wants.

davidpropert 32

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:31

He saw a chance and he took it

jimmer23 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:23

My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

rockninja 21

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

omg that is just not okay. nope not at all

Rinat_fml 26

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:26

Guys are worse tbh. #slutpost

stryder9090 28

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:31

Some people pay good dollars for similar procedures

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:37

Op did not deserve any of that

Ted_brosby 4

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:37

Hope OP is not a girl. And before you say why does it matter. Because no one really cares about a dudes nipples.

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 0:39

Would still hurt like hell though

Zaketh2112 10

Wednesday 1 July 2015 2:59

**** that. I care about my man-nips

LeashaJoy5595 28

Wednesday 1 July 2015 3:57

Unfortunately she is a girl, it's on the top left. I'm sure it was pure agony, no one deserves that!

toasterspoon 17

Wednesday 1 July 2015 18:28

Agreed #39

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 11 207

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 310

You deserved it 7 778

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying, "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 628

You deserved it 41 248

Today, my girlfriend left me. I have no clue what to do with the holiday we have booked or the ring I was going to propose to her with on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 172

You deserved it 649

Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 282

You deserved it 2 788

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 711

You deserved it 9 837

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 616

You deserved it 7 924

Same thing different taste

Kinky Crab

Carly Rae Jepsen

Poor little guy

Red or grey?

Top comments

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