Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
Today, I visited my dad's grave to give it a clean, since moss and shit were starting to grow on the gravestone. Apparently this counts as vandalism, according to the groundskeeper, because soap and water can damage the stone and make it crumble faster. Yes, the city cops sent me a fine. FML
Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML
Today, I woke up to find "GO HOME N***AS" written on my house. After filing a police report, crying with fear, and looking into the fastest way to sell my house, my 14 year-old daughter let it slip that she wrote it to "get popular." FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML
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Top comments
Crofty92 17
Some petty people have nothing better to do with their lives than bring misery on everyone else's.
thxnder 14
Chalk would wash away in the rain though surely? Some old people are just grumpy, OP.
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Comments (184)
LiLMAMA0523 35
Wow really? I bet that won't be the last time he calls the police (on anyone) for a silly reason.
TogeBara 12
Technically he's right to be honest, but seeing as it will wash off at the first or second rain, the cops don't care. What is more likely to happen here would be the cops going to that man's house and threatening to charge him with filing a false report. They would at the least chat with him, but unless it was on his property it wouldn't be an issue, even then it would be civil and not criminal.
ndad79 8
Really kids playing with chalk is vandalism ok Yea just put put them in front of a xbox and tv so much better than going outside and being kids and using their imagination
creepyclowntown 10
some people just make up stuff to complain about to try and validate their miserable lives.It is easier for them to attack the innocent than address the real problem with their life.
maxifel 8
Oh! Old people always grumpy like that -_-
brmsnipes 8
The nerve of some people...
Murdersgirl 5
two of my best friends almost got arsted for it apparently its a class a felony and the only reason they didn't is because the other cop stoped him and had them wash it off... it was quit stupid
cook4money 9
After reading this fml and some comments, I googled "is it illegal to draw on the sidewalk with chalk?". It turns out that it sure as hell is illegal here in the U.S.. No wonder people don't understand our legal system. Op, I hope your daughter was not upset about the cops showing up.
urnnotvase 10
I don't see how that became a huge issue. I loved sidewalk chalk as a child. It was something fun and harmless.
91hayek 31
"sidewalk chalk" has a nice ring to it. I'm going to start using this moniker for cocaine and see if it catches on.
Z_TheKing 9
I remember doing that and getting in trouble if i did it anywhere other than my street but vandalism really? Does the old man have something against you op