Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
Today, I visited my dad's grave to give it a clean, since moss and shit were starting to grow on the gravestone. Apparently this counts as vandalism, according to the groundskeeper, because soap and water can damage the stone and make it crumble faster. Yes, the city cops sent me a fine. FML
Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML
Today, I woke up to find "GO HOME N***AS" written on my house. After filing a police report, crying with fear, and looking into the fastest way to sell my house, my 14 year-old daughter let it slip that she wrote it to "get popular." FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML
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Top comments
Crofty92 17
Some petty people have nothing better to do with their lives than bring misery on everyone else's.
thxnder 14
Chalk would wash away in the rain though surely? Some old people are just grumpy, OP.
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Comments (184)
andy345 9
Old folks these days
anniestaysia 1
What a dumbass
unikim 10
For some reason all I can think is, how old is this daughter of yours?...
lulinator 40
That doesn't sound very Canadian.
TheDrifter 24
He might be new here. It takes new Canadians a while to relax and Canadianize. Longer if they were old and stubborn when they arrived.
trulypar 34
The old guy's twin sister must be my neighbor, she's called a few times on the neighbor kids drawing with chalk in the alleyway...not even on her property.
anthony99 14
Oh those old people...
slasher2808 11
garentee that the old bloke was doing that when he wasn't younger at what age do people become so bitter that even kids being happy means the police need to be called! if something happened to him that he REALLY needed the police but they were handling this "vandalism" across town and couldn't help him he he would be complaning the police shouldn't be there with something so minor.
thewife5 19
He probably didn't realize she was using chalk and felt silly afterwards. Most likely a senior moment.
mybubbles2000 13
What an asshole. It washes off with water.
cwl727 33
I would like to know what the cops said.