Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
Today, I visited my dad's grave to give it a clean, since moss and shit were starting to grow on the gravestone. Apparently this counts as vandalism, according to the groundskeeper, because soap and water can damage the stone and make it crumble faster. Yes, the city cops sent me a fine. FML
Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML
Today, I woke up to find "GO HOME N***AS" written on my house. After filing a police report, crying with fear, and looking into the fastest way to sell my house, my 14 year-old daughter let it slip that she wrote it to "get popular." FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML
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Top comments
Crofty92 17
Some petty people have nothing better to do with their lives than bring misery on everyone else's.
thxnder 14
Chalk would wash away in the rain though surely? Some old people are just grumpy, OP.
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Comments (184)
NessaMae 19
If using chalk on the sidewalk is illegal, why isn't SIDEWALK chalk illegal? Seriously, it washes away. If it's truly vandalism, I'd love to see the cop that walks up to a persons doorstep with chalk on the sidewalk in front of their house and tell the child they did something really bad.
cryssycakesx3 23
because it's not illegal everywhere…
davedarave 6
What a ****** stupid asshole!
pensacolalady 10
Okay, I'm old & a little grumpy but I'd never call the cops on a kid for doing what kids do! I have a 4 year old boy next door that constantly rings my doorbell to see my dogs, it bugs me to death but he's 4. I don't call the cops, I send him home. He rings the bell, I send him home all day everyday!
cryssycakesx3 23
the dog is cute. I'd ring your doorbell everyday to see it, too.
ViviMage 40
Chalk isn't vandalism, it washes right off! Unless it was offensive/racist/etc, but again water works....
chosha_fml 27
If I saw a kid drawing with chalk on the sidewalk I would encourage them, not report them.
machern 1
I wouldn't have minded her drawing if she wasn't drawing big large dicks on my sidewalk, OP.
DevilsMetsGiants 30
Crazy old bat
Ki11erC 18
Technically and I mean very technically it is, but it washes off. Most cities have chalk artists that draw on the street, they don't get arrested. Does he also often shout "get off my lawn you damn kids" etc? lol
SpotDog 11
Zero Tolerance policies taken just mite too far.
CupOfCoffee 14
I live in Belgium. Nowadays there are punishments called "GAS-boetes" (they are penalties for "nuisance") just for these kind of things. They suck. FYL
alicat13 12
depends what she was writing. why not use your own?