Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML
Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML
Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, my mom was going to take me shopping to buy a gift for my dad’s birthday, but unfortunately, I missed a spot while cleaning the kitchen. Now my mom is “embarrassed to be seen with me in public” and will buy my dad nothing, and tell him it’s because I don’t love him. FML
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Top comments
IndianRapper 0
ur moms sorta a bitch im sorry:(
BobSock 1
What is " Mothering Sunday"?
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Comments (132)
ColdGold 6
Tell her just to wait. You have something very special for her on Muther's Day. hee hee hee
FAYUL12345100 3
Stupid mom; by saying bastard, she is insulting herself.
mariet_fml 23
"Hey, Mom, here's your present." -trashcan-
Dranskee 0
ur moms a bitch!!!!
DriftingTaco 0
Man, I wouldn't get her shit- she thinks you're ungrateful when she's complaining about not getting a present? Her logic is a bit backwards.
jjfml55555 0
that's ****** up!!!...did u tell her how u cut ur thumb?
MistyLazuli 0
Your Mum is a bitch, man! Don't take it personally, she is CLEARLY immature and has an entitlement attitude. Let me guess, she's a baby boomer, right?
Prettythick55 0
That's ****'d up...
Ashlynlongman 0
I would have told her to f-off and that she was being an ungrateful bastard
FunnyGuy5051 7
she sounds like my ex