Miscellaneous: Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother...

By Trainspotting - 03/04/2011 13:32 - United Kingdom

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 773

You deserved it 3 731

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Same thing different taste

Mom! No!

By Mnnn - 18/07/2023 18:00

Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 1 060

By 3.14 - 08/02/2012 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 180

You deserved it 2 079

By SwingingGallows - 15/07/2016 15:43

Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 706

You deserved it 1 110

By emeraldarcher74 - 19/11/2016 18:34 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 1 341

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 665

You deserved it 2 105

Cool your jets

By tiredoffamilydinners - 12/01/2012 05:00 - United States

Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 620

You deserved it 2 547

By Aisu - 08/05/2009 18:14 - United States

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 828

You deserved it 3 059

By Anonymous - 07/11/2014 08:03 - Australia

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 727

You deserved it 3 759

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 815

You deserved it 3 121

By singkong duleng - 18/08/2018 15:00

Today, I told my mom that my wife and I got her a birthday present, but she won't be getting it until April. That instantly pissed her off, cussing us out calling us cheap worthless selfish bastards. I was about to surprise her that she's finally going to be a grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 885

You deserved it 403

IndianRapper 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:46

ur moms sorta a bitch im sorry:(

BobSock 1

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:48

What is " Mothering Sunday"?

Comments

Danielt104 6

Monday 4 April 2011 7:11

Give your mom a plate of useless bitch.

datgirl 0

Monday 4 April 2011 8:37

Are you sure she is your real mom? she doesn't sound too nice of a mother. fyl!

Isabel312 0

Monday 4 April 2011 8:59

sounds like how my mother acts..... O.o mama?

staceysgenesis16 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:02

what a bitch .. seriously. ungreatful person .. ugh

fromthesuck 8

Monday 4 April 2011 10:05

start chasing her around with an axe. she'll appreciate a sandwhich alot better after that

Kehaulani1994 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:55

bitch status

rummydummy 3

Monday 4 April 2011 11:19

how about changing it to smothering sunday and be done with the bitch

Nynaewe 4

Monday 4 April 2011 15:21

WOW... I'm glad she's not my mom.

sincerely331 0

Monday 4 April 2011 16:34

With all due respect, yur mom is an ungrateful shit head

mgiannin 0

Monday 4 April 2011 20:23

I really don't think people use 'whilst' in their everyday vocabulary as much as this site suggests

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Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 565

You deserved it 2 470

Today, I found out that my toxic mother-in-law's retirement plans include moving in with us when she gets old. The death glares I’m getting from my wife right now are so worth the satisfaction I got from telling that evil old bat I’d burn the house down first before I let her move into it with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 67

The Top

Today, I became my one night stand's shrink as he went through the process of realising he might be bisexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 365

You deserved it 714

Today, I went skiing for the very first time and spent more time falling down than actually skiing. Despite the fact that I'm up here in the mountains for another week with my family, I'm never trying that again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 366

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 305

You deserved it 9 613

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 910

You deserved it 35 706

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 933

You deserved it 2 936

Today, I was so nervous about a medical exam I was about to take, that I misspelled my own first name. It only has three letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 656

You deserved it 573

Same thing different taste

Mom! No!

Cool your jets

You OK hon?

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