Miscellaneous: Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother...

By Trainspotting - 03/04/2011 13:32 - United Kingdom

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 773

You deserved it 3 731

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Same thing different taste

Mom! No!

By Mnnn - 18/07/2023 18:00

Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 1 060

By 3.14 - 08/02/2012 11:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 180

You deserved it 2 079

By SwingingGallows - 15/07/2016 15:43

Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 706

You deserved it 1 110

By emeraldarcher74 - 19/11/2016 18:34 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 1 341

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 665

You deserved it 2 105

Cool your jets

By tiredoffamilydinners - 12/01/2012 05:00 - United States

Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 620

You deserved it 2 547

By Aisu - 08/05/2009 18:14 - United States

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 828

You deserved it 3 059

By Anonymous - 07/11/2014 08:03 - Australia

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 727

You deserved it 3 759

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 815

You deserved it 3 121

By singkong duleng - 18/08/2018 15:00

Today, I told my mom that my wife and I got her a birthday present, but she won't be getting it until April. That instantly pissed her off, cussing us out calling us cheap worthless selfish bastards. I was about to surprise her that she's finally going to be a grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 885

You deserved it 403

IndianRapper 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:46

ur moms sorta a bitch im sorry:(

BobSock 1

Sunday 3 April 2011 19:48

What is " Mothering Sunday"?

Comments

hihowudern 0

Monday 4 April 2011 1:39

lol number 10 thundercunt

sunnysurfchick 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:12

are you from england? my husband is and his mum is the "ice queen"

AtrumMessor 1

Monday 4 April 2011 2:20

"Alright, Mom, it's off to the nursing home with you!" ...and then change your phone number.

MelissaMae 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:57

wow! maybe she doesn't deserve the present? I'm sorry :(

supernova901 2

Monday 4 April 2011 3:15

Sorry, but your mom is a grade-A bizitch. Return the gift or burn it in front of her. Your call.

Jordanfortenberr 0

Monday 4 April 2011 4:08

Na don't do anything to her shes probably on her meta-pause loll

towhomitmayconce 0

Monday 4 April 2011 4:32

If you take this FML with the other definition of "Making her lunch", it takes on a whole new meaning...

fsu69 0

Monday 4 April 2011 4:53

shes a bitch

G6chick 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:43

ur mom sux

eccentrik 4

Monday 4 April 2011 5:59

"i'm sorry mom, mail doesn't get delivered on sundays."

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 439

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 008

You deserved it 21 832

The Top

Today, I found out why my now ex-boyfriend abruptly dumped me out of nowhere. Turns out his friend separated from her husband, and apparently, “the opportunity is too good to pass up.” We’ve been together for 5 years, and have a kid together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 025

You deserved it 186

Today, I was volunteering at a local hospital. I was eagerly introducing myself to all the nurses, as I would be working with them all summer. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the giant piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth. So much for first impressions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 587

You deserved it 1 958

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 491

You deserved it 7 733

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 644

You deserved it 46 015

Today, a couple asked me to donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 978

You deserved it 2 408

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 359

You deserved it 8 816

Same thing different taste

Mom! No!

Cool your jets

You OK hon?

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