You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 093
You deserved it 3 190

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Aisle tell you one thing: you should've gone all by your shelf. You should check-out the other possibilities in your local area.

That's harsh. Hopefully you can convince them to let you back in soon!


That's harsh. Hopefully you can convince them to let you back in soon!

I wonder how you even ban people from such stores ? It's not like they have a list of troublemakers' photos or an ID checkpoint at the entrance (or do they ? lol) ... Why not just walk in there and avoid the employees who saw your shenanigans last time

ncsteven10101010 11

This town seems like a small place, that's probably why they can ban people because they will be able to recognize faces. OP probably visited the store regularly, so most of the workers probably recognize their face.

You can get banned from supermarkets. It happened to me after my wife bent down to pick up a can of beans.

You might have been able to convince them not to ban you in the first place if you had helped clean up your mess.

Aisle tell you one thing: you should've gone all by your shelf. You should check-out the other possibilities in your local area.

cooterpie 11

I want nothing more than you mother your children. Although I'm highly aware my womb probably won't be able to contain the awesomeness that is your spawn.

Trisha_aus 15

#2- I think I'm attracted to your puns..or maybe it's the mushy.

Spawn's a bit of a harsh word for my progeny! I don't look that much like an alien do I?

Pleonasm ~ I thoroughly enjoy your puns. Congratulations my good man :D I love your picture as well. Mustaches are just great :D

MalloryKnox 8

17 - Not anymore since you changed your pic. Perhaps 9 is thinking of the old one? Something tells me I wouldn't want to have Thane's babies... Cross-species birth always seemed like such a painful, messy affair to me. And whoa, when did you become such a ladies' man? Wish I could grow a sweet 'stache :(

cooterpie 11

No, you don't LOOK like an alien. That stache makes you outta this world though.

17- Well, I couldn't find a good enough picture of Thane, and the picture I currently have seems to give me a cool, Italian Plumber-esque edge, so that explains it! 26- I must say, I'm a Lidl flattered by your compliments, and your puns are stellar.

Woops, 24, not 17 is who that first statement should be directed at. Pleonasmian Slip I guess.

laceup7 4

#2 I hate you pic and u should die your a dake

honeybadgerr 9

Since when has fml turned into eharmony? Guess I didn't get the memo

cooterpie 11

Honey badger don't care. Honey badger don't give a shit! I'm guessing you didn't get that memo either. :)

honeybadgerr 9

Well #40, that memo I did receive. You just haven't checked my profile yet.

cooterpie 11

Not at first... Because just like HB I didn't give a shit. =] I'm extremely pleased that you did get that one though. You should receive the new memo in about 3-5 days.

honeybadgerr 9

Lol good one :) ... Gotta love the nasty ass HB

oj101 33

Oh god, please stop with the puns. It was funny when I read your first 10 comments but I'm pretty sure the FML community is annoyed with you now.

CharresBarkrey 15

53 - Yes, they are clearly all annoyed with him. Hence all the "You're my favorite commenter," and "I want to father your children," comments following nearly all of his pun comments.

Damn. Just apologize profusely and you'll be grand.

Bit of an overreaction don't you think? People that scream at the drop of a hat are so annoying.

Shadow_Phantom 26

It's all about the element of surprise.

Some people are just REALLY jumpy. I suggest never watching scary movies with them. Physical injury is guaranteed.

No overreaction you stupid jerk

LiterOfCola 16

I think 4 meant the store's reaction.

X_Codes 11

@31 - Well I mean the OP's reaction. What the hell did your brother do to scare you?

It's raining... food?

perdix 29

The good news is you've found a great diet plan, but you'll have to move once it goes from weight loss into famine. You may want to try to return to the store wearing a rubber nose and glasses. They work if you get one with a convincing fake mustache.

I did that once; I just let my moustache grow out into this. Seriously you should see me clean shaven- at least with facial hair no one verifies that I am indeed an adult.

They don't ban you if you only knock down 12 items or less.

AGhost5445 25

Wear a mustache and they won't notice you. It works in the movies

Does the owner of the store know it's the only grocery store in town? I'm sure if you apologized and added that fact, you should be just fine.

BellaBelle_fml 23

I would hope that the management, especially the owner, of the only grocery store, in what sounds like a relatively small town, is aware of the fact that they are the only grocery store in town. If they are not aware of that fact, then they have extremely poor management skills as they do not pay any attention to possible competitors in the area.

I'm from a small town with only one grocery store. Their management isn't the best because they have no competition. I never heard of anyone being banned but someone attempted to steal something and he wasn't allowed back in without someone else with him.

Sheesh you should go and make your brother apologize for making you scream, and make food rain. Just saying something for an idea. The crap blog is out