Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML
Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
I bet he really pissed you off.
igese 11
That's a great example of a win-lose situation
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Comments (109)
hawkknight 24
Shoulda closed your window.
buckdharma 38
Let me get this straight. While you trained, a man in a drain drained his main vein in vane? You dissed, he got pissed, threw said piss and missed? Sometimes it's better to get pissed on, than trying to get piss off a Passat, especially if you were storing gear for cricket, cause now there's some sticky wickets!
buckdharma 38
vain*
TogeBara 12
Idc if you misspelled vain, this shit is awesome. I hope you write like this for all seriousness in a job or something, because it is a waste of talent otherwise. XD freakin' hilarious.
rec_chem 22
Serves you right for playing cricket in the first place. We have baseball now. Get with the times.
Ambiguous404 6
Looks like urine for a lot of piss poor puns! Unlike my very original ones!
DobbyGotPwnd 10
Should've gone on a date with him.
Zimmington 21
cricket is a weird game isn't it
tehdarkness 21
That's the worst thing I ever heard. Ful.
Vanillanougat 14
Good reflexes at least.
emuexport 4
He scored a wicket!!, great aim
Vanillanougat 14
Sounds like he's mastered the art of Jarate (TF2 reference)