Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML
Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
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Top comments
ColdplaySucks 18
I bet he really pissed you off.
igese 11
That's a great example of a win-lose situation
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Comments (109)
Kateymarie41 8
Well at least it didn't hit you?
fabs1171 23
Dude, thats really nasty. Its never great to be dodging wee.
joopjoop 19
and im sure throwing a bottle of piss in your car won you over for that date... not...
Epikouros 32
Cricket is so ghetto! You should work on your batting skills, though.
AngrySailor 17
Wait till he's passed out from drinking Lysol, then run a hose from your cars exhaust into his house (drain). Sit back and listen to Some tunes for an hour or two.
bigtaytay 13
That's what you get for playing cricket
FlyingPie 17
Sounds like urine trouble. What a pisser. Don't bottle up your anger though.
buckdharma 38
Sitting in his dark trench filling bottles with bad intent "Not" has ruined his prose Greasy fingers hurling shabby throw Pee hurtling at my head (duck*) Picking up pieces of his broken luck
AngrySailor 17
Salvation à la mode and a cup of piss?
buckdharma 38
Aqua flung my friend, travels thru the air uneasy. A poor thrown lob, to he it's only pee.
arre2006 19
Piss poor situation there
l33tr 0
JARATE!!!