Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Star Wars
Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML
Meanwhile, in Westboro…
Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looked at my nametag, then me, then turned to her daughter and said, "Because he hates God, honey". FML
Go out please!
Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML
Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
Get the hell out of there
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Ma'm, we closed 10 minutes ago
Today, I had a woman throw a clipboard and yell at me to then storm off, still yelling in the mall where I work, all because I'd told her it was too late to do a piercing tonight. FML
A wild TERF appears
Today, someone started to scream at me that "I needed Jesus" and that "I would never be a real woman." When they realized I'm a guy with long hair, they got physically angry at me for "lying to them." FML
Can it, Susan
Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML
Top comments
Albarufus 13
People these days... X_X
nikininja 4
Religion is like a penis. It is nice to have one, fine to be proud of it... But when you try shoving it down my throat you have crossed the line.
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Comments (199)
Albarufus 13
People these days... X_X
CheckItOutItsYou 7
Yeah. People these days are just looking for a reason to complain. There's a South Park episode about to lol
MormonPornstar 7
So.. you're a Jew and a Satanist :) Right on, man.
hotshot2626 9
Did you ask her if Jesus told her to be such a narcissistic bitch or if she's just going on a hunch?
PleaseStayChill 9
Well think of how boring the world would be without idiots. Sarcasm would rarely be used, we'd have nobody to test dangerous things on, and YouTube would be no fun. The internet would be a very, very boring place without numskulls, nitwits, idiots, and ignoramuses.
kittycat2007 18
wearing a pentacle does not make you a satanist.
TrollRoaster 0
Christians. The ones with the sticks up their asses.
avatar0810 15
59 is mostly right.
AussieChild 22
72- don't lump us all into one group. Just because there is a few people who are nuts and in the wrong, doesn't mean everyone is!
Daederoth 10
Jesus freaks freak me out.
sens3sfailing 25
I am an atheist, I don't dislike people who love god, my girlfriend is a creationist. I dislike people who can't take the fact that not everybody believes the same thing and feels the best course of action is to put down anyone who disagrees with them and tries to convert them. Respect my right to believe what I think is right, and I respect your right to worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster if that's what you want! May the sauce be with you.
Meettitan 14
Tell her your Star of David doubles as a throwing star and throw it at her forehead.
dragynfyre 4
there's a huge difference between a pentacle, a pentagram, and a star of David. wearing a pentacle would indicate that one is of wiccan or pagan religion. pentagrams generally are worn by those who worship Satan. and a star of David, which doesn't look anything like a pentacle or pentagram, is a six sided star generally representative in Jewish religion, but is also worn for protection.
outoftown 27
119 - zealots freak me out.
outoftown 27
139 - I'm guessing OP's heckler wasn't good at geometry.
technochik3 12
124- very creative comment and it actually made me laugh haha.
BenL97 5
Ramen to that,124!
AussieChild 22
Agreed 124! I'm a christian, but my best friends are agnostics and atheists, and we all respect each others beliefs. I don't understand why everyone can't do the same!
Zoh_Aubrey 8
I'm a Christian, so can I just say on the behalf of my creator and clear-thinking Christians--I'M SO SORRY that most "Christians" are ignorant ***** and not "Christ-like" at all.
Vamphyre73 12
Actually, neither pentagram nor pentacle mean that someone worships satan, both represent wiccan or pagan beliefs, but in slightly different ways. It is actually an upside-down pentacle or pentagram that represents Satan worship. I had to point that out because I have both, I know what they mean, and I definitely do not worship Satan.
wubbazugg 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Of course! Didn't you know?? All the fanatical ones will tell you when you're wrong! All us atheists want is to be left alone... We're happier that way..
onlychildFTW 34
What? Why are you talking about atheists?
Matty1188 6
I've never met a happy atheist.
Jeffo193 13
#25 i really wish i could vote you up...
Drigr 9
Didn't ya hear? Judaism is the new Athiesm. (if more than one religion wears the star of david, please, call me a dumbass, but also enlighten me)
kitkatkit 4
I'm an atheist and I'm the happier now that I am one...
Ashekitty 6
Let's all vote down for the angry atheists!!! I'm pretty much atheist and I am a very happy and good person. ;)
perdix 31
#24, I don't know about happy, but they are certainly more relaxed. You know, that happens when you're not thinking that there's this eye in the sky watching your every move and keeping score.
winfieldALJD 6
Haha that FML Team guy that posted is awesome. He has a funny bio, too! Typical
Misskayfoyer 14
Hi I'm Kay, I'm atheist ...and I'm happy! :) there you go now you have!
gc327072 31
That's not whether or not you're religious, that's just an example of someone who was being a complete idiot.
GracesDelirium 9
I'm reasonably happy.
TurquoiseJesus 15
'How do you know how who is an atheist?' 'Dont worry, they'll make sure to let you know.'
gracehi 33
The following is in reply to 2. I don't contest the fact that there are happy atheists in this thread and elsewhere, however I have met some extremely proselytizing self righteous atheists. Ever heard of a guy named Bill Mahr? And he is a pretty mild example when you compare him to the carnage that social darwinism and atheistic governments have wrought on the earth. Fanaticism can exist in atheists and theists alike, and it is equally deplorable in both cases. I personally, however, find hateful, proselytizing, and self-righteous atheists all the more frustrating because of their stunning hypocrisy in decrying religion and people of religion for being hateful, proselytizing, and self righteous.
Kristoffer 35
#26 me too, so I'm voting your comment up as a stand-in for the staff comment :)
onlychildFTW 34
113- It's not like religion has ever caused a problem in the world. *sarcasm*
gracehi 33
141, Religion itself hasn't caused problems. Fanaticism has. Sometimes it manifests itself as religious fanaticism, such as in the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, or the modern muslim terrorist organizations. Other times it manifests itself as atheist fanaticism, such as social darwinian and atheistic governments, such as the Soviet Union. I was simply refuting 2's assertion that only religious people can be fanatical, while atheists can't. Fanaticism is prevalent and deplorable in both atheists and theists.
gracehi 33
social *darwinism
lostmongoose 23
I pretty sure social Darwinism has been used by both theist and atheist groups.
gracehi 33
Yes, but it's based on atheistic principles. Try telling a religious person that their value as a human being is determined by how well natural selection and evolution have made them able to compete for survival among their own species. When used by religious fanatics, social darwinism has mainly been used to reinforce their already existing fanaticism or to coerce the non-religious to agree with their fanaticism.
mduffy08 8
We learned in AP euro that generally wars always turn political. But I have a question for all of you Athiests. Do you just not believe in god in the sense of the bible, or do you just think there is nothing at all after? What I'm asking is, what do you actually believe? (I am not trying to attack anyone here, I am simply interested in others views)
CamdenMarie 6
I personally, as an atheist, believe that there is just nothing after death. God (once again, in my opinion) is an entity created by the human mind, and when the human mind dies, the idea of God does too. I also believe that God is a tool to keep society in line, to make them fear Hell, and that God is a way to keep the control out of your own hands. Example: "God will get me through this" rather than you getting yourself out of it. I also want all the religious people to understand that I don't want to start anything with you, I respect your beliefs and understand that the idea of there being a God makes you feel calm and at peace, and I hope you will respect my beliefs all the same.
athlete1990 4
**** or gtfo
Alihb 16
dude, the reason many hate atheists is because many choose to get into religious arguements. not all, but Many
hambro 9
THANK YOOOOUUUUU ATHIEAT FRIEND AND BROTHA
Grindwhore 2
Satan raus
P374RD3D 9
Please explain.
Grindwhore 2
A play on a holocaust reference. Not for those without a dark sense of humour
kayPandastyle 15
If you weren't OTJ working meaning she wasn't some sort of customer then I woulda yelled at her right back or not even stay to listen. fck that noise. Stand up for yourself
gracehi 33
She should have been able to yell back at her, or at least refused to serve her, anyway. No reasonable manager or company would expect or allow their employee to endure such abuse.
gc327072 31
Should've just flat out gone off on her, no one needs to be disrespected. FYL, OP, idiots gonna idiot.
beccaishereyay 11
I don't think certain people understand freedom of expression...
DuRpY 5
In this case that freedom is a double-edged sword. It's just unfortunate that her side was blunt and dull, and she shouldn't have been waving it in OP's face. Sidenote - Let me just say this, and maybe we can put it to rest here and now, before this gains any sort of momentum: She does NOT represent all of Christianity. Sidenote 2 - Becca, I'm in love with you. Sidenote 2 - Disregard Sidenote 2
beccaishereyay 11
Now why would you go and disregard side note 2? I liked side note 2.
MormonPornstar 7
I'll love you if Durpy won't. We can sing Maroon 5 songs and eat Otter Pops.
TurtleSmile 14
It's a free country, I can do whatever I want!
beccaishereyay 11
How did you know that those are my two favorite things EVER??
patrickalamo 48
And the establishment clause.
AliSama 17
I hope you had a wonderful jewish new year. Ignore idiots.
swedishviking 3
Shana tova!
orebes 3
Some people are so ignorant.
nothing92x 13
That lady's comment is quite ironic.
borkchop1992 15
Don't we all love religious nutjobs
gc327072 31
Making us Christians look bad since 0A.D.
KiddNYC1O 22
I sigh and chuckle at overly religious people.
TheBeastiest 6
Ignorance is bliss. Some people are happy in their own world, they can't accept any thing different from what they believe in. Closed mindednes leads to no evolution. But then again Christians don't believe in evolution. So let's pray that these people get smarter. Has it worked? I guess not. Lmao.
P374RD3D 9
"Christians don't believe in evolution." What were you saying about closed mindedness?
stej1985 3
#11 lmao.. damn it bit of a circular reference... I wish stuff like this happened to me.. I love a good debate. especially one that starts 'I have 9 skulls in my bedroom too if you want to see them'. people quickly evaluate their position. be proud of your religion OP, while atheist myself its out of choice, I would never chew someone out for believing (unless they started telling me I'm wrong... then I'm all over it - if my beliefs aren't good enough for others that they need to chew me out about it, screw em I'll give them an earful back)
charmedamethyst 14
You seem mighty sure of yourself when you say that Christians don't believe in evolution. Check your facts or ask a Christian, moron.
TheBeastiest 6
Ooh moron, nice word. Considering that all the Christians I know and talk to give me shit for being agnostic and when asked about evolution they simply say, that they were created as stated in the bible. And they go on and on about the bible. With no signs of even believing in creationism. Or any sign of creationism or evolutionism working hand in hand. Yes. I'm agnostic. But I think that both coexist. One didn't happen with out the other. I just don't give this higher power a name.
charmedamethyst 14
Which Christians do you talk to? I'm Catholic and I'm not some fanatic trying to push anything down your throat but the Church, and some other denominations of Christianity, definitely does not take the creation story as it happened literally. Christianits acknowledge the evidence gained from scientific means. Christianity, at least in Catholic faith, tries to harmonize with scientific breakthroughs with the beliefs of the Church. Some Christian churches may not believe in the same thing, but don't go making assumptions that all Christians are as ignorant as you think they are, because the people you talked to obviously don't represent the rest of us.
Sirin_fml 47
You all need God. And when I say "God", I mean "prozac".
charmedamethyst 14
And yes, you may be agnostic and there's nothing wrong with that, but Christians can believe that these things coexist. Don't clump us all in the same group and make uninformed assumptions.
andrew9623 9
A couple of years back, the catholic church stated that " evolution is almost certainly true" they have more of an intelligent design theory, meaning that evolution was overseen by god
bay6464 2
I'm a Christian who believes in evolution, my church doesn't take everything we read in the Bible literally, we understand it as a metaphor. We also don't try and force other people to believe what we believe, we encouraging questioning and are all encouraged to find our own beliefs. It doesn't matter to me what you believe so long as you don't make blanket statements like "Christians don't believe in evolution." Unless you have asked every Christian on the face of this planet and they all said they don't believe in it you have no right to say that.
The_F3rris 11
Couldn't agree more 11.
eggmarie 25
11, you should probably just stop trying. You aren't helping your case at all by continuing to post. You just sound more ignorant than the people you claim are "in there own little world" I'm an Atheist and I have no problems getting along with people who are religious. Maybe you should try it some time.
TurquoiseJesus 15
I forget the exact number, but it's something like only 10% of Christians are fundamentalists (aka the ones who take the whole Bible literally). So there is a good chance the other 90% can still believe in evolution. Quit being stupid.
gracehi 33
If ignorance is bliss, then theBeastiest must be extremely blissful. ;p
nerdchic 5
I will have to agree with beast dude here. I live on the Bible Belt (yay me) I'm not really anything bc I don't give a shit. But people here who are Christians say that evolution doesn't exist that it's god work and blah blah blah. They think evolution = we evolved from monkeys which isn't the case. We all have a common ancestor - and they can't or won't wrap their head around that thought
outoftown 27
Part of the problem talking about Christians is semantics. There's the generic term "Christian" that covers Catholics, Protestants, and other denominations. Then there are the folks, often evangelical and/or fundamentalist, who simply refer to themselves as "Christian." The latter use the capital C now; decades ago they used the more humble small-case c, but humble has since left the building.
elephantsarecute 16
People like 11 and 93 need to shut up, I hate it when atheists bash religious people and vice versa. Everyone has a right to believe what they want to believe. My mother and I belong to the Swiss Reformed Church, my brother is agnostic and my father is atheist. And we all live happily in the same house.