By night_fox88 - United States - Camden

Go out please!

Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2033

You deserved it

206

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Commando

Understanding

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65656

You deserved it

9940

Tweet

Share

By swimmonster81

Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22716

You deserved it

1554

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4699

You deserved it

517

Tweet

Share

By charlotte273 - United Kingdom

Today, in an attempt to save money on waxing, I bought veet hair removal cream. I also discovered it has the same effect on carpets. Now I have to pay for a replacement. So much for saving money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24171

You deserved it

13847

Tweet

Share

By DamnMyOvaries - United States - Groves

Today, I fainted in the lunch line at school due to extreme period cramps, and ended up having to get seven stitches on my face. This is the third time I've fainted because of my period this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6428

You deserved it

506

Tweet

Share

By lfssecond - United States

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56672

You deserved it

25523

Tweet

Share

By synn - Singapore

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23479

You deserved it

3080

Tweet

Share

By MdT - South Africa

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49697

You deserved it

3679

Tweet

Share

By cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44268

You deserved it

2768

Tweet

Share

By shwasted - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27450

You deserved it

3762

Tweet

Share

By Beestings - United States

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37370

You deserved it

6514

Tweet

Share

By Kayla

Today, it's the third day in a row that my classmate next to me has brought green bean casserole to eat in class. The last two days I could hold back my vomit, but today I couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2342

You deserved it

499

Tweet

Share

By SadPuppy - United States

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46735

You deserved it

3530

Tweet

Share

By UnpaidBabysitter - United States - New York

Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a 10-year-old who kept shouting, a belligerent 7-year-old, two 5-year-olds who thought hitting me was funny and two 2-year-olds, who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1585

You deserved it

176

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/3/2021 20:01

Wake up Boo!

Today, my work made us all get up at 3 a.m. to head to the airport for our 7 a.m. flight, only for us to get to the airport and find out the flight is cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

884

You deserved it

76

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17212

You deserved it

5699

Tweet

Share

By Millian2 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24951

You deserved it

3691

Tweet

Share

By notyouraverage

Today, I was doing a PowerPoint presentation in front of my whole class, when I accidentally clicked on the folder that has zillions of pictures of my crush. He's one of my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2428

You deserved it

6778

Tweet

Share

By fatty - Canada - Calgary

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on Pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9511

You deserved it

18732

Tweet

Share

By Thomas - United States

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38100

You deserved it

3423

Tweet

Share

By disconnected - Brazil - Santa Maria

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31440

You deserved it

3425

Tweet

Share

By Lee - United States

Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54733

You deserved it

4108

Tweet

Share

By Lennyr - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my first born child. Somehow, my mom and mother in law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother in law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14422

You deserved it

1066

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Ukraine - Donetsk

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31184

You deserved it

1913

Tweet

Share

By sohungry - India

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27574

You deserved it

2694

Tweet

Share

By klv8 - United States

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48618

You deserved it

3546

Tweet

Share

By AllergyRidden - United States

Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29573

You deserved it

2287

Tweet

Share

By soldiergirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he "can't date someone who supports the war". We started dating because he thought I looked cute in my uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36002

You deserved it

3787

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - France - Le Rove

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54219

You deserved it

3145

Tweet

Share

By Ginger_Gawd - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29452

You deserved it

45880

Tweet

Share

By nima - 23/2/2021 02:01

Death wish

Today, my parents went on vacation and told me that it is "absolutely imperative" that I do the dishes while they are gone. Instead, the sink decided to break and nothing will fix it, so I'm currently writing out my will. FML

I agree, your life sucks

785

You deserved it

93

Tweet

Share

By mew - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39087

You deserved it

3211

Tweet

Share

By

Today, my parents accidentally bounced some checks through a miscommunication. They now owe the bank $700 and can't afford groceries, which means we're relying on me, a 17-year-old girl who works at McDonald's 2 days a week, to get us by for the next few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5978

You deserved it

509

Tweet

Share

By Poorfish - United States

Today, my fish's tank was all green and nasty, but I had no time to clean it because I woke up late, so the job was left to my mom. When I came back, the water level seemed high, and the fish looked a little strange, so I asked my mom what she did. She said "I cleaned the tank with chlorine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

50827

You deserved it

29868

Tweet

Share

By Wilson

Today, I fractured my tibia, fibula, and tore a tendon in my ankle. How? You might ask. By stepping in a hole at soccer practice. Now I’ll be out for the entire season with months of rehab. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2569

You deserved it

194

Tweet

Share

By merrymary - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks

34623

You deserved it

6027

Tweet

Share

By lily_marleen - United States

Today, we have a fruit fly infestation again because my roommate keeps buying fruit and letting it rot on the counter. Despite the moldy fruit being covered in flies, she insists it's my fault because I left an empty bottle of beer out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10056

You deserved it

686

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27099

You deserved it

2746

Tweet

Share

By jackmehoffa - United States - Green Bay

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31532

You deserved it

5818

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/9/2020 05:02

The Summoner

Today, I've lived in my apartment for over 5 years with no bugs, as I'm phobic of them. I broke up with my ex, who smirked at me and declared war. I now have thousands of roaches that I can't get rid of. Coincidence? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1342

You deserved it

123

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By jriley4u | 17

#7877381 - Monday 27 January 2020 8:34

Neckless = no neck
Necklace= jewelry worn around the neck

By RebeccaMcQ | 14

#7877367 - Monday 27 January 2020 7:42

Go back to school pls

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7877359 - Monday 27 January 2020 7:01

Salt?

That's no good for demonic possession. Tell your idiot grandmother to watch "The Exorcist" to know what the fuck to do!

By RebeccaMcQ | 14

#7877367 - Monday 27 January 2020 7:42

Go back to school pls

By jriley4u | 17

#7877381 - Monday 27 January 2020 8:34

Neckless = no neck
Necklace= jewelry worn around the neck

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7877410 - Monday 27 January 2020 10:43

It sounds like she may have some form of mental disorder such as hyperreligiousity if such a small act can trigger such a response.

By Cody Vertigo Bonthoux | 15

#7877429 - Monday 27 January 2020 12:14

time for gam gam to go to a mental facility

By mfranks19891989 | 10

#7877434 - Monday 27 January 2020 13:00

What did you do?
Your grandmother is either super religious or has been watching to much supernatural.

Reply

Elisabetha Aarron | 18

#7937578 - Friday 11 September 2020 21:09

Did you even read the FML before commenting??

By bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7877448 - Monday 27 January 2020 14:28

The bigger crime is your spelling of necklace.

By Vern Ehlers | 5

#7877456 - Monday 27 January 2020 15:04

Have her arrested and charged with assault.

Reply

ThrottleJockey | 34

#7877847 - Tuesday 28 January 2020 21:07

Don't you mean assalt?

By ojosRojos | 28

#7877766 - Tuesday 28 January 2020 14:22

“Neckless” lmao

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7877921 - Wednesday 29 January 2020 2:19

Have the fruitcake committed.