Miscellaneous: Go out please!

Go out please!

By night_fox88 - 27/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Camden

Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 195

You deserved it 230

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From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

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Same thing different taste

By ygma - 01/12/2015 16:39 - United States - Mansfield

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 455

You deserved it 2 765

Quality family time

By really mature, GRAN - 25/12/2012 20:59 - United States - El Macero

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 792

You deserved it 3 080

By Anonymous - 14/12/2017 01:30

Today, a stranger yelled, "Non-believers shouldn't wear these!" He then took my rosary and ran off. It belonged to my dead brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 437

You deserved it 328

By raz - 02/10/2012 00:11 - United States - Fargo

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 562

You deserved it 2 641

By Anonymous - 23/03/2014 16:59 - Egypt

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 173

You deserved it 3 715

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 128

Spirits, awake!

By liza - 29/03/2021 16:59

Today, since my alarm didn’t go off at 7 a.m., I awoke to my mother attempting to perform Necromancy on me “as a joke.” She wore a black robe and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 217

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 454

You deserved it 3 393

By Bad Child? - 08/04/2017 16:00

Today, as I was brushing my teeth, I heard my mum praying to God to help her "get rid of such a stupid child". I have no idea what I've done wrong, and she's refused to talk to me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 824

You deserved it 436

By Anonymous - 05/03/2018 01:30

Today, my insanely religious 60-year-old neighbor screamed at me when I left my home to go to work. I was wearing jeans and that’s apparently improper for a female adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 533

You deserved it 324

jriley4u 17

Monday 27 January 2020 8:34

Neckless = no neck Necklace= jewelry worn around the neck

RebeccaMcQ 15

Monday 27 January 2020 7:42

Go back to school pls

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 January 2020 7:01

Salt? That's no good for demonic possession. Tell your idiot grandmother to watch "The Exorcist" to know what the **** to do!

RebeccaMcQ 15

Monday 27 January 2020 7:42

Go back to school pls

jriley4u 17

Monday 27 January 2020 8:34

Neckless = no neck Necklace= jewelry worn around the neck

Mungolikecandy 19

Monday 27 January 2020 10:43

It sounds like she may have some form of mental disorder such as hyperreligiousity if such a small act can trigger such a response.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Monday 27 January 2020 12:14

time for gam gam to go to a mental facility

mfranks19891989 10

Monday 27 January 2020 13:00

What did you do? Your grandmother is either super religious or has been watching to much supernatural.

Elisabetha Aarron 18

Friday 11 September 2020 21:09

Did you even read the FML before commenting??

bl3ur0z3 17

Monday 27 January 2020 14:28

The bigger crime is your spelling of necklace.

Vern Ehlers 5

Monday 27 January 2020 15:04

Have her arrested and charged with assault.

ThrottleJockey 35

Tuesday 28 January 2020 21:07

Don't you mean assalt?

ojosRojos 28

Tuesday 28 January 2020 14:22

“Neckless” lmao

BurnInDemonFire 35

Wednesday 29 January 2020 2:19

Have the fruitcake committed.

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The Top

Today, while masturbating, I got a huge migraine so I went into the kitchen to get an Advil. As I was getting it, my family was staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. I walked out and realized that I hadn't put my pants back on. I just walked downstairs fully torqued in front of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 2 684

Today, as always, when my dad says he needs my help and that it will only take 15 minutes, it will actually take all day because he doesn't plan ahead. This has happened three times now, so this time I demanded he compensate me for my time if I have to drive out there. He called me an "entitled little shit" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 216

The Top

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 144

You deserved it 3 049

Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 764

You deserved it 2 394

Today, I didn't know I had a pill stuck in my throat until I coughed and it flew across the table, narrowly missing the weird guy sitting across from me in the break room. Turns out that weird guy is my new supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 720

You deserved it 487

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 796

You deserved it 10 024

Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 822

You deserved it 6 756

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 691

You deserved it 1 719