By Samantha - 19/11/2020 13:08 - United States - Kingsport

Ma'm, we closed 10 minutes ago

Today, I had a woman throw a clipboard and yell at me to then storm off, still yelling in the mall where I work, all because I'd told her it was too late to do a piercing tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

750

You deserved it

56

Tweet

Share

Deadly cocktail

Grow up

Official meeting

By Summer Loving Happened So Fast - United States - Cookeville

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38036

You deserved it

3262

Tweet

Share

By ggbhghggg - United States

Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9639

You deserved it

42425

Tweet

Share

By lobotomy pls - United States - Tappahannock

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28230

You deserved it

4464

Tweet

Share

By WTF - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58406

You deserved it

3868

Tweet

Share

By avoid the sour cream - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38600

You deserved it

2817

Tweet

Share

By Revalation - United States

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32446

You deserved it

3045

Tweet

Share

By Username

Today, my boyfriend punched a hole in a door. This is on top of the broken handle, cracked sink top, dented fridge, and other holes in the wall he has also made. We are 4 months into our year lease. I don't think we are getting our $720 deposit back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27566

You deserved it

18804

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for 3 years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37903

You deserved it

9621

Tweet

Share

By ElizaWy

Today, I celebrated my fifteen-week anniversary. No, not a relationship anniversary. A migraine anniversary. It won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12545

You deserved it

822

Tweet

Share

By Big Baby

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7353

You deserved it

780

Tweet

Share

By sex deprived - United States

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57084

You deserved it

11593

Tweet

Share

By this guy - United States - Alhambra

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50338

You deserved it

4146

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, some official photographs went live on our company website. As I took a closer look, I realised I was in the background of one photo unloading boxes from a van. My trousers were halfway down my ass, flashing my butt crack for the whole internet to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2736

You deserved it

1332

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents woke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17239

You deserved it

29646

Tweet

Share

By FirstKiss - Canada

Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77599

You deserved it

6655

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - Australia

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25482

You deserved it

2375

Tweet

Share

By disfunctionalfamily - United States

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55704

You deserved it

4584

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1402

You deserved it

324

Tweet

Share

By brittrus - Canada - Milton

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33642

You deserved it

3252

Tweet

Share

By doesnttastegood - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

120355

You deserved it

13876

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/3/2020 22:36

Small comforts

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2463

You deserved it

164

Tweet

Share

By Dogs loose - France

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30858

You deserved it

4339

Tweet

Share

By Dope - United States

Today, I tried to sell 2,000 options contracts, but I bought them instead, resulting in a big loss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7703

You deserved it

23157

Tweet

Share

By not taking those! - 6/10/2020 23:07 - United States

Lobbied

Today, I called my insurance company begging for a new doctor. All my current one does is prescribe antidepressants for everything. Migraines? AD! Dizziness? AD! Birth control? AD! I’ve been having rough periods and I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to push pills to bill us more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1133

You deserved it

72

Tweet

Share

By wtfuraretard - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29904

You deserved it

5151

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/7/2020 02:00

Goldfinger

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1701

You deserved it

167

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28654

You deserved it

7316

Tweet

Share

By Roomie pay rent plz - United States - Hicksville

Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19320

You deserved it

1290

Tweet

Share

By creepyguy - Australia

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28217

You deserved it

9908

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I woke up at 7, got to college by 7:40 to receive an email that my 8:00 a.m. class got cancelled. I stayed there until 12:00 p.m. for my second class, to then find out that the cancelled class was the one at 12:00, not 8:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23648

You deserved it

5841

Tweet

Share

By Snurkles McGree - Canada

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36313

You deserved it

7620

Tweet

Share

By HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat - Canada - Victoria

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31164

You deserved it

6833

Tweet

Share

By bakedplum - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27721

You deserved it

23754

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30260

You deserved it

2680

Tweet

Share

By me - United States - West Babylon

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40522

You deserved it

8430

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

79679

You deserved it

20520

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39071

You deserved it

3186

Tweet

Share

By peppergirl - 30/12/2020 20:00

Sewing project

Today, I was doing a sewing project in class. My friend said we should get the teachers to model our designs. I said that I did not think I would have enough material to make clothes for one of the teachers. I said this in front of the whole class very loudly, while the teacher was right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

598

You deserved it

2252

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - France

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19748

You deserved it

7125

Tweet

Share

By Skido - United States

Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57387

You deserved it

9001

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7953065 - Thursday 19 November 2020 23:37

A piercing takes two seconds -- what wrong with you?

You should pretend to accommodate her and for her rudeness, pierce her right in the tragus.

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 28

#7953065 - Thursday 19 November 2020 23:37

A piercing takes two seconds -- what wrong with you?

You should pretend to accommodate her and for her rudeness, pierce her right in the tragus.