Love: Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my... - FML

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 073

You deserved it 2 145

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:02

So blue balls?

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:04

She must've think you've gone nuts! In a serious note, hope she understands OP.

Comments

ThePaperDragon 31

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:02

What could possibly have gone wrong in so little time? I hope all ends well!

darkmournings 12

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:08

ditto

darkmournings 12

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:08

ditto

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:10

She showed up at his door to kick him at the nuts for stalking her over the past few months.

ThePaperDragon 31

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:13

That honestly makes a great deal of sense!

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Monday 27 July 2015 7:55

He made a move and she kicked him in the balls so hard he had to go to the ER? That's about all I see happening unless he was already ignoring the pain of something else going wrong with his testicles and it suddenly got too bad to ignore.

sturschaedel 27

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Wednesday 29 July 2015 0:17

She gave him a blowjob and squeezed his balls until one ruptured.

JETarchitect 32

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Tuesday 1 November 2016 6:43

#74 I see what you did there!

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:02

So blue balls?

semitoundboss 4

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:19

Sounds like he had it so bad his balls literally turned blue.

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Monday 27 July 2015 6:13

Sounds like those blue balls officially reached critical condition to me

4WheelBurnout 14

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Monday 27 July 2015 8:34

I feel like a follow up is needed from OP

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Monday 27 July 2015 15:52

Worst case of blue balls ever. He should have remembered the movie There's something about Mary and taken matters in his own hands first.

Jinxedluv 7

Tuesday 28 July 2015 9:48

Hahah!

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:02

What the hell happened..? Considering I've had the ovary version of that, I feel your pain! Hope you feel better OP!

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Monday 27 July 2015 21:42

Pretty sure he got kicked in the nuts

Jinxedluv 7

Tuesday 28 July 2015 10:03

amen, he's fine on a serous note though.

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:03

Hope the nads are alright!

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:03

Follow up on why you had testicular pains.

suosi 21

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Monday 27 July 2015 17:48

I should go ask my ex for that answer

Jinxedluv 7

Tuesday 28 July 2015 10:04

hospital didn't tell him anything...I have an aunt named sue!

JustinJK 21

Monday 27 July 2015 5:03

Aw. that's got to be pretty embarrassing. hopefully you feel better and you two can laugh it off.

nutella4life 14

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:03

what did she kick u? I hope you're okay.

20bricks 28

Monday 27 July 2015 5:04

I'm guessing when they said love hurts, they meant it very literally.

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:04

Yikes! Not the best first (romantic) impression. Hope you're okay, though!

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Monday 27 July 2015 5:04

She must've think you've gone nuts! In a serious note, hope she understands OP.

Nearly

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I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 31

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I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 70

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Today, I asked my boyfriend why he becomes insatiably horny whenever he hears "Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley. It turns out that was the song on the radio when he was losing his virginity, when he was 16, with his sister. He insists it’s not weird because their parents are half-siblings. I can’t even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 9

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I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 335