What could possibly have gone wrong in so little time? I hope all ends well!

ditto

ditto

She showed up at his door to kick him at the nuts for stalking her over the past few months.

That honestly makes a great deal of sense!

He made a move and she kicked him in the balls so hard he had to go to the ER?
That's about all I see happening unless he was already ignoring the pain of something else going wrong with his testicles and it suddenly got too bad to ignore.

She gave him a blowjob and squeezed his balls until one ruptured.

#74 I see what you did there!

So blue balls?

Sounds like he had it so bad his balls literally turned blue.

Sounds like those blue balls officially reached critical condition to me

I feel like a follow up is needed from OP

Worst case of blue balls ever. He should have remembered the movie There's something about Mary and taken matters in his own hands first.

Hahah!

What the hell happened..? Considering I've had the ovary version of that, I feel your pain! Hope you feel better OP!

Pretty sure he got kicked in the nuts

amen, he's fine on a serous note though.

Hope the nads are alright!

Follow up on why you had testicular pains.

I should go ask my ex for that answer

hospital didn't tell him anything...I have an aunt named sue!

Aw. that's got to be pretty embarrassing. hopefully you feel better and you two can laugh it off.

what did she kick u? I hope you're okay.

I'm guessing when they said love hurts, they meant it very literally.

Yikes! Not the best first (romantic) impression. Hope you're okay, though!

She must've think you've gone nuts! In a serious note, hope she understands OP.