Miscellaneous: Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently...

By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - 07/08/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 587

You deserved it 4 048

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 604

You deserved it 2 605

Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 553

You deserved it 2 811

Dude! Boundaries!

By devinbyrne - 05/03/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 729

You deserved it 3 758

By webperson04 - 27/07/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 412

You deserved it 3 601

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 322

You deserved it 1 817

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 644

You deserved it 26 646

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 05:50 - United States - Austin

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 799

You deserved it 3 901

By TJ - 07/01/2010 16:50 - India

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 228

You deserved it 2 996

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 705

You deserved it 14 964

By wurtabang - 09/02/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 453

You deserved it 3 105

Kyot3 7

Thursday 8 August 2013 5:28

That's when you're allowed to legally beat the tar out of him.

myoukei 31

Thursday 8 August 2013 5:28

*Insert a string of pissed off/on puns here.*

Comments

icepick23 12

Thursday 8 August 2013 16:01

Call the NSA & tell them you think he is linked to something suspicious.

123man 11

Thursday 8 August 2013 16:14

You need to simply grow a bigger penis. Problem solved!

rondiggs 9

Thursday 8 August 2013 16:21

That's when you best the piss out of him

TheBestNameEver 5

Thursday 8 August 2013 17:35

wow what a duesher

cookie1207 19

Thursday 8 August 2013 21:15

Wait... so literally youngot pissed off!!! Hahahaha. FYL

SpotDog 11

Thursday 8 August 2013 22:38

So you are a grower not a shower - knobs like him are only laughing at their own inadequacies.

tarbaby6193 6

Friday 9 August 2013 0:20

Where u pissed of :D lol

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Friday 9 August 2013 2:29

That's a man code violation for sure.

ImAp0tat0 9

Friday 9 August 2013 5:02

the cockbite is marking you as his bitch

TheOtherNewest1 6

Tuesday 13 August 2013 1:58

Cockbite? I smell a Red Vs. Blue fan. A Red Vs. Blue fan covered in piss.

Keywords

Work Mental health Relatable Students Kids Parenting Love Embarrassing Awkward Family Intimacy Wanker AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, we were supposed to go on a weekend camping trip with our Scout troop. On Thursday I wasn't feeling well but I made it through school okay. Dad forced me to pack up immediately after school, even though I felt worse. I threw up on the porch on the way out. Dad thinks I did this on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 49

Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 373

You deserved it 1 987

The Top

Today, I was threatened with eviction over $6.25. They waited three days to tell me and left me one business day to get it done. Six fucking dollars and 25 goddamn cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 847

You deserved it 1 352

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 7 957

Today, my boss sent me home from work because she saw me not checking under my customer's cart to see if they had any hidden groceries. I didn't check because the customer threatened to "kick my ass" if I "accused him of stealing" by checking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 329

You deserved it 8 472

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 051

You deserved it 6 473

Today, I wanted to either say, "I already did it, sweetheart" or "I already did it, baby" to my SO, but my brain had other plans. I started to say ,“I already did it, sweet baby” but I got to "sweet" and in a millisecond mentally switched words, so what I ended up saying was, "I already did it sweet peepee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 285

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 712

You deserved it 2 178

Same thing different taste

Stranger danger

Dude! Boundaries!

Top comments

Comments