Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet. I looked down and realised someone in the stall next to me was peeing on my foot underneath the divider. They didn't even attempt to aim for the toilet bowl. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Is it wrong that I laughed because I thought of Ghostbusters as I read that last part? Fuhohohoho!~
WeeWizeL 0
Must have pissed you off...
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Comments (193)
andiles 0
first
iBanana 17
Either his wife was having a baby and he had to hurry, or... his husband was in the process of adopting.
hellogoodbye1996 6
today, I had to pee so bad I could barley hold it. I ran to the bathroom, and the guy in the first urinal was taking to long. I had to use the same urinal as him. FML.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Did he buy you dinner?
andyp010 10
Yellow Light-Saber fight lol
Alpha35 4
LMFAO HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
I'm pretty sure that makes you gay op
Mirorbo 27
Is it wrong that I laughed because I thought of Ghostbusters as I read that last part? Fuhohohoho!~
Zmeilerr 22
No darling, perfectly normal!
dudeitsdanny 10
Hahaha, nope! When I read the part about crossing the streams, I yelled in my head "Nooo! Don't cross the streams!" It makes you awesome in my book =D
ArthursLifeSucks 2
I, too, thought of this immediately. LOL. I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go!
sueannpalma 7
same with me lmao
Uscdrew1 7
Best movie ever.
kona314 1
Totally thought of it too, you're not crazy ;)
nmitche95 0
when there is something weird, in the bathroom, who u gonna call?!? GHOSTBUSTERS
FYLDeep 26
Since when was Charlie Sheen a Ghostbuster though?
Buddy360 0
raywilliamjohnson is awesome
shockwave259 6
I thought of the same thing XD
alphatoomega 21
I think that's what most people think of. I sure did.
mrnrlson 0
gay
WeeWizeL 0
Must have pissed you off...
purplecowchik 5
Oh I see what you did there! You are quite a funny guy.
Tracy_Evans 2
LOL
BigBagel 0
Swordfight!
andyp010 10
light saber I believe mate
LadiiOfCurves 0
LMFAO
fizzypop14 3
when you gotta go you gotta go...
jessicarenee88 0
jinx! funny we posted the same comment at the same time...
NirvashType0Spec 7
not really cuz you posted it at :35 he posted it at :34
sourgirl101 29
Come on! Give Jessica some extra credit. She did type a longer comment so it took an extra minute.(: Btw I thought "jinx" before I entered the comment reply section.
jessicarenee88 0
when u gotta go, u gotta go...at least he pissed in the urinal and not on your foot or something.
youtheducator 3
u should have turned and peed on him!
mexican_music 13
tf
chwder912 3
GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! THANK U FER SAVING NY FROM TEH MARSHMALLOW
TheMikeyT 3
YES!!!!!
skittlez12345678_fml 0
haha dick buddies
metfanatic1986 0
I wonder if op atleast said nice watch.
Vonneil 0
WTF???? Who does that ?!?!?!
Harrisonwoody 3
Srsly ... Wow