Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML
Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, my friend told me she saw the girl I like at a single's night after I'd asked her out and rejecting me, for being in a complicated relationship. FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
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Top comments
BauerMegan 31
Some people just can't handle rejection.
slooby_fml 25
Prove them all wrong
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Comments (119)
vegeta77 4
That's easy, dude. Don't let it bother you. If your cool and just laugh whenever you hear and tell what the real deal is, people will know she's nuts. Also, you could call her up and say you changed your mind. The possibilities of retribution are limitless at that point.
rosenkrieger223 24
It's just that the wording of your comment seemed to imply that a rumor started by a girl was way more powerful than one started by a guy
buckdharma 38
Tell everyone "she does too."
BexBaby86 21
Typical behaviour when rejected. Wouldn't worry too much about it. That's just one pissed off girl. She'll move on. Hopefully. :/
rosenkrieger223 24
Why should OP feel obliged to give someone who he has no attraction to or interest in a chance? It's entirely his choice and he obviously didn't want to date her. Dating someone you don't want to just because you feel obliged to is just ******* stupid.
FlyingPie 17
She sounds like a winner. Dodged a bullet there.
srt1087 6
When in doubt....whip it out.
FlyingPie 17
That was a dick move on her part. I know it sucks, but it will blow over. She may even realize how she has only screwed herself, in the end.
alblynne 8
Some girls can be bitches
FlyingPie 17
And they be crazy.
trbuson 11
You should ask her if she has a brother who just graduated.